your team

veiw your team here

OUR TEAM

OH SHIT

HELLA SCRAPES

pretty much the smartest kid ever..

in case you forgot.........

OUR FRIENDS ARE BETTER THAN YOUR FRIENDS

pooh bear on the bike longview syndicate with the tribute poster ( but i think you already know that our team would put on a captain hat and fuck your team)
and EJ with the retro robot toys.

A oldie but a goodie, and a newie goodie

The trails 2 summers ago. A lot has changed. Note: only two lines, there's no jump after the tight berm, there are no rollers next to the big hip, and the line is over after the big hip.



The best part is that more changes are on the way.



The second best part is that All Time Highs are finally here.

We jumped the sled chair

It was awesome. It's still snowing by the way. Should be until Friday, so woohoo.

Jumping the sled with a broken wrist was a bad idea, and unfortunately it was at night, so no pictures or video.


I thought this was sweet. Turn down the volume, though.

Snow

Aaron and I have both been enjoying our respective vehicles in the snow. Very fun. TEAM_ROBOT assembled to make snowROBOTS.


I also used the downtime to craft the perfect snow machine:





































Being already broken, my dad volunteered to break himself instead. Maiden voyage: successful. It goes damn fast. And he did two unintentional 360's. Safety first.

All that work paid off.

Here is a random kid DYING off of our drop in LO. I almost shat my pants.



The slow mo at 200 seconds is the best ever.


A little background-

Team Robot has a pinkbike account. That's pretty lame, whatever. We suck.

After our jumps in Lake Oswego got plowed, the city gave us a totally sweet gravel pit to dig trails in. We didn't realize it was a quarry when we started, we just thought, hey, cool, a big opening with tall rocky cliffs around it.

We made a 15 foot tall drop off of one of the rock faces.

We gave up on that spot 4 years ago, and haven't been back since.



Today, I got a friend request from one, "bikerboyac." It said, "Hey you guys wanna ride some time?"

No.

I almost instantly deleted the friend request (TEAM ROBOT has no friends), but then I thought, "hey, why not laugh at them first?"

Turns out, "Bikerboyac" lives in Lake Oswego. He had a video called "My worst crash this season." Best video I've ever seen.


Same drop, better angle:




















All that work was worth it to watch one prepubescent cyclist scream "fuck" for 20 vertical feet.

Worst Flyer ever/Retarded/Coffeefailbot

Congratulations to the kind people at the Windells. They've really outdone themselves, coming up with the only flyer in the world worse than their original:


















Over at THEMEGASCENE.com awaits many hidden treasures. Thanks to THEMEGASCENE for finding this gem




But no thanks to Birthworms McBrotog for slandering the good name of robots everywhere. This obviously photoshopped-in Starbucks cup goes against everything robots everywhere are killing humans for. And it will not be tolerated.






















And besides, everyone knows that HATESHISLIFEbot drinks alcohol while executing his mating call. Consider yourself on notice, Birthworms.

odds and ends

i am working out the finishing touches on my new race saddle. robots have buns of steal.

















here it is CHAZZ waging war on the vegan fed brains of his fellow PSU students.




ipods are cool i guess, but TEAM-ROBOT uses tapes

and now this little gem.

rain sucks!

but this stuff is rad.






High On Fire "face of oblivion"

my new favorite game

this is too much fun

pooh bear on his howie

i went grocery shopping the other day, all stocked up for winter.

Look at that gap

COME OUT SWINGING!! teaser from on Vimeo.

There is something in the water in Oz.

I win

Kind of a big deal

Anchorman's on tonight at 9. Be there.

Felipe Laredo

Phil Weiring sent me this gem of a text message today:

"i just saw the hillary duff clip on ur gayspot.com and its gay"

Truer words have never been spoken. Phil and Semi-Protographer Cory Tepper also provided us with this gem of a bottomed-out-downhill-bike-in-a-berm picture. BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAP:

















Being a crazy kid, I got my zany dirt jump riding on:























Baaron came and showed us what a proper riding kit consists of:

















Patrick was watching a cyclocross race. That's pretty cool, too, I guess.

Stripped frames/Lars n' Bars/Fluidride/gay

So we've been thinking about stripping our giant frames for a while, but we were wondering what they would look like stripped:

















Fortunately, I finally got around to it, and I also picked up a new saddle and a taller seatpost for race season. Dialed.



In the category of real news, Grade-A shredder Lars Sternberg got picked up by Grade-C bike company Transition. Although, to be the fastest down the hill, racers have to get the hill. So dialed bikeS or not, Team-Robot salutes Transition for hooking up Lars "Stachetober" Sternberg. Factory support is a long time coming for this genuine American badass:















Yeah, gnarliest X-up ever. I didn't even know he could do X-ups.


We'd also like to salute another all American Badass, Simon Lawton. Simon is of course the man, the myth, the legend, behind Fluidride, the coolest bike shop/clinic/race series/team around. Hats off to you, for supporting Luke, Lars, and the Northwest race scene in general.























On another note:

Hilary Duff wants you to stop and think before you use the term "gay"



Well, I've listened carefully, and I can now say with authority that this guy is gay:

Trails

Hands down most creative set of trails I've seen.

Thanks to http://sasquatchcanyon.blogspot.com

Someday we'll having riding photos

Until then, enjoy more bad youtube videos.




Maybe the best BMX clip ever? I don't think I've ever been more stoked on Little jeff's riding than after watching him do a huge footplant, and then do it in inverted colors. It had zoom ins, zoom outs, lots of heads and bikes cut out of the frame, but it was really lacking in slow-mos.

Some really tight editing. This might surpass even Match 9 on Chaz's top movies of all time.

What's funny?

Anything with this zany music!!

-The Chaz

Happy Thanksgiving

Enjoy your turkey.

Stop.

Taiwan

Now that RSTMTBUSAINC is good and dead, the poor blogging skills of Zander have been replaced by the equally poor blogging skills of Taiwanese "Golden Dog." I highly recommend you check out the new blog at RST. Excellent engrish:

"Also, the Phil Sundbaum from USA who also used Space Jump fork during this contest got great 10th place."

http://www.rst.com.tw/news.asp

Although both are severely lacking in basic communication skills, Golden Dog updates more often, so the win goes to Taiwan in this round.

Windells/Black Market/keepin' it real

Thank you Cory Tepper for not cutting my head off. Ever.
And thank you for this fine research:

Ian Hylands: How do you feel about 24″ wheels and the growing prevalence of Sledgehammers in mtb?

Carter Holland: Personally I don’t think 24s are mountain bikes, I like John Cowan’s idea that a mtb has to have some combination of 26″ wheels, front brakes, gears and a shock. Besides looking goofy, it’s not a mountain bike. Guys are just riding 24s to make things easier”




Carter Holland riding
a Black Market
Bikes fully rigid,
rear brake only,
24" specific bike.
Soon to be in
production.
Real mountain bikes.

Pumptracks

TEAM_ROBOT stands by it's official stance of pumptrack stupidness. Going lots of directions, down a hill, and (especially) in the air is way cooler than going around in circles on flat ground. However, if you're going to fill your backyard with a pumptrack, it might as well be perfect.


SC pumptrack preview from jackson allen on Vimeo.

Arriba!

Team Robot/Human status report

Fuck yeah

Fuck yeah.

Yeah, so this is pretty cool. Thanks to Scott Hart to of people.





Also, in the previous post, I included this haiku:

I have just two moods:
Pissed and horny. I'm sorry.
You're not attractive.

This haiku was inspired by the true story of Patrick Funk. All credit goes to Patrick.

Real Mountain Bikes

Carter Holland riding a Black Market Bikes fully rigid, rear brake only, 24" specific bike. Soon to be in production. Real mountain bikes.

Food for Thought

On campus at PSU, we have a subterranean all vegan hipster cafe called "Food for Thought." Their mission is to "Serve food, art, and education. Aside from having a really steep, big wheelchair ramp leading to it's entrance that I've wanted to roll down in a swivel chair for a while, I payed this bastion of self-loathing and tight, uncomfortable mismatched "vintage" clothing no thought.

Until today. Today I had the joys of failing my first test, digging a gigantic berm, and plotting my death at the hands of vegetarians.

Food for Thought is holding open mic nights on Tuesdays, for music, art, commentary, or poetry. Being an aspiring poet myself, I leapt at the idea. I consider Haiku a pastime of mine.

I haven't selected the finalists for my performance, but these are some of my haikus:


Oh chicken, your pain.
So delicious is my gain;
With barbeque sauce.


They kill you, strip you.
Your life deemed worthless. But why?
You're yummy. That's why.


"The Hunter"
Stalked. Hunted. Killed. Destroyed.
The Hunter, he steals your life.
Who cares? You're a deer.


Kill them. Let them bleed.
Cut them apart. Burn the flesh.
Double Cheeseburger.


I voted for Bush,
I drive a big SUV.
McDonalds tastes good.


"Animal Rights"
So, Vegans are dumb.
Why don't you eat cheese products?
Go starve somewhere else.


"Vagina Monologue"
Vaginas are gross,
Don't tell me your monologues.
Keep it to yourself.


"Bicycle"
You ride a fixie?
That's cool, you're the first. P.S.
No one likes you. Die.


"Mechanized Slaughterhouses"
I like eating meat.
Mechanized Slaughterhouses?
Cheaper? Go for it.


I have just two moods:
Pissed and horny. I'm sorry.
You're not attractive.


I am white, straight, male,
Affluent, Republican.
Thus, I am Satan.



"The Pinnacle"
Die, die, die, die, die.
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die,
Die, die animals.

-Chaz

Rain

I saw the sun today.

-Chaz

Robot allies

The trails

Here's our super awesome floaty whipable hip as is:


















Which adaptation makes more sense?

































The choice is clear.


And just for reference, here's what it looked like during construction. It was a monster to build. The whole far side later collapsed after heavy rain, and had to be restacked. It was a monster job to build this monster landing:

Paying the bills here at TEAM_ROBOT

We at TEAM_ROBOT would like to announce an exciting new development. In the constant quest for sponsorship for racing, and as a result of our tremendous viewership, we have opened an ad space on our blog. Don't worry, this won't interfere with TEAM_ROBOT's goal of bringing you only the best and most useful bicycle related news. Thank you for your support.

Correction on 100th post

*TEAM_ROBOT WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR ANY MISCONSTRUED ATTEMPTS TO FAVOR HUMANS. PLEASE ALLOW ROBOTIC HUMAN KILLING TO RESUME.*

BACO!

Victorious bicycle stunt maneuvers. from Brett Rohlfing on Vimeo.

REDFANG!

one of TEAM-ROBOT's favorite bands ever.
portland based, they drink beer, they rock.
watch and learn
http://www.myspace.com/redfangpdx

Next President /100th Post

We at TEAM_ROBOT would like to celebrate our 100th post by congratulating the next president of the United States and the first African-American to become president, Barack Obama.




















Good luck Mr. Obama. America is rooting for you.

happy halloween

Helmet ideas

Everyone wants a custom painted helmet. But what theme do you go with?

For some ideas, I recommend: http://www.animalshirts.net/ (you'll thank me)

Obvious choice:

Maxxis tires

http://62.50.72.82/ucinet/uci.asp?page=rankings&discipline=mtb&ryear=2008&ridercategory=me&l=eng

Every racer in the UCI top ten rides Maxxis tires. Food for thought.

Trail Jam- talk is cheap

Everyone who was there had a blast. It was a good day. Photo credit goes to Tom Lyons. Thanks for coming out, everyone. It was rad. So rad.