Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Coolest MTB trick I've seen in a while



Rider: Tyler Paget
Photo: Jarett Volkoff

Compliment Sandwich



Ty Morrow might have the biggest bunnyhops in the world. At least that's what the title of this youtube video claims, so it must be legit. Hey, when Scotty Cranmer's confused by your riding, that's pretty impressive.







He still wears a stupid hat.










Here's another helpful tip for Ty and all the other BMX riders who like to creep around skateparks and streets spots at roughly walking pace.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Great news!!

Hey everyone, guess what? Monster Energy hoodies are 50% off at Chain Reaction right now! Stoked, bro!

Kovarik rides the way we all wish we could



He might not have always won, but I'd be willing to bet that for 10 years or so everyone else on the World Cup circuit would watch Kovarik and wish they could ride like him.



Chris Kovarik makes you look like a pussy. Whoever you are.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How-to

The Baaron strikes again

Aaron's been building dirt jumps down in Salt Lake during the week, and helping with the Park City jumps on his weekends. The final produxt in Park City is pretty sick. No clips of the Baaron, but a cool overview of some sweet jumps. I rode the old version of the park (pre-bulldoze), and the new version is WAAAAY better.



Nice work, Baaron. Team Robot for life.

Don't... just, don't



There's a lot of things that are really good about this picture. But... there are a few very important things that are not so hot. Like the instant decapitator case deck.

Next time you think you can save yourself some shovel time by building something out of wood, ESPECIALLY A LANDING, simply follow rule #2:


Rule #2: DON'T.

Vories+Gwin= solid interview



No sarcasm here. This is actually a really good interview. I think picking Vories to interview Gwin was a really smart move. I watched all 14 minutes and felt pretty good about the world after watching. Pinkbike, you did good on this video.

Monday, September 19, 2011

metal monday



TEAM-ROBOT wants you! ..... to kill yourself.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A message to Kyle Thomas:





Actual headline:

"Biggest sperm bank in the world tells redheads: keep your semen, no one wants it"


The world's largest sperm bank is telling redheads to keep their semen.

Demand for ginger-haired donors is so low that Cryos International says they needn't bother donating.

"There are too many redheads in relation to demand," Ole Schou, the director of Cryos, told the Danish newspaper, Ekstrabladet, according to London's Telegraph.

Men with scarlett manes sell "like hot cakes" in Ireland, Schou said, but that's about it.

"I do not think you choose a redhead, unless the partner - for example, the sterile male - has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads," he said, the Telegraph reported. "And that's perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case."

Men with brown hair and brown eyes are very popular, Schou noted.

Cryos ships sperm to more than 65 countries around the world, and donors can score up to $500 for their semen.

msheridan@nydailynews.com; or follow him at Twitter.com/NYDNSheridan

Blatant stealing

When you hear someone say: "Imitation is the best form of flattery"

What they're really saying is: "I'm an asshole attempting to rationalize my theft of another person's idea."



Eddy-Merkin is killing it at life, so I just stole this video off their site. Eddy Merkin, consider yourself flattered. You're welcome.






Speaking of Eddy Merkin, their chief reporter on the ground, Verg, is down in Vegas keepin it real. Here's an example of when interbike can be good:





And here's an example of when interbike can be awesome:



She will be the first to die in the robot apocalypse.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Moto=Gnarly



Here's your 2011 AMA Lites National Champ clearing a HUGE gap out of a stepup/dragon's back/CF on the track. Even Chad Reed and the other guys on the 450's weren't hitting that gap. Pretty gnaryly, especially for a little bike.

Editor's note: I really have no idea what I'm talking about, though. I never raced moto. But I like to pretend like I'm in the know.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Team Robot response to Danny Hart

Robots are made of Metal

I just saw this picture of Team Robot founding member Aaron Nachtrab. He slammed his skull at Skibowl about two months ago, but today I found this sweet photo of his brains trying to escape. This is with a full face on too!



Fortunately this impact only affected Baaronbot's external shielding, and not his central processing unit. Basically, Baaronbot's protective structures worked according to plan.


Baaronbot is once again fully operational.





Further evidence that robots are made of metal:

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sick/sickening

MTB "unturndowns" suck. This is a scientifically documented fact.

I don't know why I have to explain this. It should be obvious. So just to be clear, I'll use the exact same rider, same day, and same jump to explain this concept as clearly as possible:



This is sick:






This is sickening:



Please note: Guy French is a sick rider from the Aptos area. He builds and shreds at the post office regularly.

Please also note: that does not change the fact that it still looks really dumb when Guy French or anyone else does an "MTB unturndown."





In a real turndown, the cranks are level as the rider cranks the trick. Because of the increased size of a mountain bike, keeping the cranks level in a turndown or an unturndown is harder to do. So instead of either:

A) working a little harder and learning how to do it right

OR

B) showing a little respect/deference/restraint and just not doing shit that is over your head


Mountain bikers have collectively decided to just drop that inside crank, take that outside foot off, and give it a real B effort. The result is a real B-grade "trick." But instead of honoring their new, shitty trick with a new, shitty name, like a "shoulder-buzzer," they will typically refer to it as an unturndown.

Like this:



This one also sucks:





Just to review, this is what an actual unturndown looks like. Note that both his feet are still glued to the pedals, his cranks are dead level, and that he is folded over like a taco trying to click that:


Also, if we want to get picky here, note that the rider in the BMX picture is OVER-turning his bars, making the unturndown even more clicked. If you go back and look, every single picture of Guy French has his bars under-turned, making it look less clicked. This is so he doesn't buzz his shoulder, which kind of kills the term "shoulder buzzer" dead in the water.


Anything less is just taking an ugly one footed invert and turning it into an unfortunate mtb fad.


Between mountain bikers shitty tricks and our desire to run Kenda Small Blocks Eights (the worst skid-massacre tire ever) at BMX trails, it's a wonder BMXers ever let us ride their stuff.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yub Nub



The text is small, so don't complain, just click on it.

Online forums are awesome.

Being lonely, by myself, and alone as usual, I found myself browsing pinkbike. Again.

Being an idiot, as usual, I clicked on this Eurobike story about Mavic's new MTB footwear in the hope that there might be an exciting new product. Their new road shoes look pretty good, so I thought, "hey, maybe their mountain bike shoes will look decent, too."

I was wrong. They don't look decent.





Instead of shooting for "good" or "decent" or even "not visually offensive" in their first big foray into the MTB shoe market, Mavic decided to go for a vomit inducing fusion of Euro/storm trooper/old-people-velcro-shoe styles.












After briefly perusing the article, I turned to the most valuable resource that Pinkbike offers: user input, aka comments.



The first comment on the article was from "PedalShopLLC," who contributed this gem to the conversation,

"Don't care for laces. Like the tread on that Switchback. I'd rock the Alpine shoe --- would prefer something in your basic black though. white's a little flashy."



Which earned this less grammatically correct but much more awesome response:

"who cares what you like" -motoracer432


Whoever you are, thank you, motoracer432. Even without a question mark, "who cares what you like" is probably the best question ever. The best part of the question is that it's not a question at all; it's a statement. It's a statement that no, sorry, nobody else cares about what you think.

Seriously though, what sort of immature, self-absorbed, attention-starved egotist needs to be heard so badly that they will voice their thoughts online in some stupid quasi-public forum that no one reads?




"who cares what you think" is such a good question that it should become an auto-reply whenever anyone posts a comment on Pinkbike, or any other forum ever. It's so good that it should be IN ALL CAPS, TOO. Here are some examples of what the new and improved Pinkbike comment section could look like, using actual comments from the online intellectual metropolis that is Pinkbike:



On Pedals:

Burgtec penthouse flats best pedal ever imo and come in crazy colours -swifty17uk

AUTO-REPLY: WHO CARES WHAT YOU LIKE





On Head Angles:


yea, my faith with 203mm forks has about a 66degree head angle, which is the same as the team dh, plus its newer. they end up as a good race bike thts pretty light 2:D -tommybananajohnson

AUTO-REPLY: WHO CARES WHAT YOU LIKE




On Tires:



"Michelin tires are the best that I have had at least for DH best 4x tire ever is the Maxxis Bling-Blings 2.35 Lopes edition those tires rail hard pack dirt like no other"
-dyalnger9

AUTO-REPLY: WHO CARES WHAT YOU LIKE p.s. Brian Lopes sucks





Anyway, thanks for reading the Team Robot blog.

AUTO-REPLY: WHO CARES WHAT YOU LIKE

Friday, September 2, 2011

World Champs predictions

I bet Kyle Thomas $5 that Greg Minnaar doesn't make the podium this weekend.



The real bet this weekend is who will get 2nd place. As a good red-blooded American I believe in my heart that Gwin will win, but who will be the bridesmaid?

My bet is Fabien. He won World Champs on a Kona. Twice.

Thursday, September 1, 2011