Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Two douches and a footjam
Douche. You could easily miss one of the finer details of this picture, because only the thorough and vigilant douche-eye will pick up the faint Alpinestars graphic on his T-shirt. Perfect.
Douche. By the way, you might want to go easy on the rockstar stickers next time, boss. Again, please note T-shirt selection.
Sick footjam. Total bummer. Again, note his hand going for the maxle, in desperation. Excellent timing.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Now you git sum
While watching the following videos, you will master such skills as
Advanced cycling techniques:
and
Shaking 'em up:
And yes, as far as I can tell, that guy in the cycling posture video is dead serious.
Advanced cycling techniques:
and
Shaking 'em up:
And yes, as far as I can tell, that guy in the cycling posture video is dead serious.
Funny talking, good riding
Now, you know I don't speak Spanish. But whether I can understand those crazy folks or not, that might be the coolest downhill track ever. Did you see how open the lines were, and haw raw the track was? It was rougher than shit. AND it was steep. AND long. And it even had a signature "go watch people die" section.
As Patrick would say, "It's the bomb."
Friday, December 25, 2009
You suck if you're not laughing
On the other hand, you're on TeamRobot, so you probably suck even if you are laughing.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Ben Reid!
two of my favorites 1. Alex Rankin ( best DH movies ever) 2. Ben Reid ( smallest and bestest irish DH racer ever)
pfunk via vitalmtb
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Dude, Bro, chill
Definition of "Bro:"
Definition 1:
Obnoxious partying males who are often seen at college parties. When they aren’t making an ass of themselves they usually just stand around holding a red plastic cup waiting for something exciting to happen so they can scream something that demonstrates how much they enjoy partying. Nearly everyone in a fraternity is a bro but there are also many bros who are not in a fraternity. They often wear a rugby shirt and a baseball cap. It is not uncommon for them to have spiked hair with frosted tips.
Bros actually chose this name for themselves as they often refer to each other as "bro" even though they are not related.
I couldn't go to sleep last night because some bros at the party next door kept screaming, "Whoooooo!!! YEAAHHHHH! Whooooooo!"
Definition 2:
That one's for you Patrick. For those who don't know, Pat's a big college football fan, and lover of bros everywhere. BIIIGGG fan.
Definition 1:
Obnoxious partying males who are often seen at college parties. When they aren’t making an ass of themselves they usually just stand around holding a red plastic cup waiting for something exciting to happen so they can scream something that demonstrates how much they enjoy partying. Nearly everyone in a fraternity is a bro but there are also many bros who are not in a fraternity. They often wear a rugby shirt and a baseball cap. It is not uncommon for them to have spiked hair with frosted tips.
Bros actually chose this name for themselves as they often refer to each other as "bro" even though they are not related.
I couldn't go to sleep last night because some bros at the party next door kept screaming, "Whoooooo!!! YEAAHHHHH! Whooooooo!"
Definition 2:
That one's for you Patrick. For those who don't know, Pat's a big college football fan, and lover of bros everywhere. BIIIGGG fan.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Pinkbike is the best
I've been looking into building a trail. I don't know how to build a trail or berms, so I checked on pinkbike. Thanks "Dmadness" from Canada:
"i've built a couple. I usually Sharpen some Steak's and Drive em into the Ground at angle.. then Weave a couple of thin Branches through them Horizontally, till I have A wicker looking frame.. I've ridden a couple In this fashion without Throwing dirt on em and they work fine But they are much better if you then Build a dirt up on them.. you gotta pack it good And it helps if you have some Clay type dirt ( look for "trail mix" bags at your local Home hardware or such.. it's a mix of Clay and Dirt basically and it Set's up well with the addition of a little water."
That's probably the best advice I've ever heard. Weave loose sticks into stakes in the ground, and then ride it... Genius!
Maybe even add some dirt (that I purchased from home depot?). How many bags of "trail mix" dirt would you have to buy for a 1 minute long track?
"i've built a couple. I usually Sharpen some Steak's and Drive em into the Ground at angle.. then Weave a couple of thin Branches through them Horizontally, till I have A wicker looking frame.. I've ridden a couple In this fashion without Throwing dirt on em and they work fine But they are much better if you then Build a dirt up on them.. you gotta pack it good And it helps if you have some Clay type dirt ( look for "trail mix" bags at your local Home hardware or such.. it's a mix of Clay and Dirt basically and it Set's up well with the addition of a little water."
That's probably the best advice I've ever heard. Weave loose sticks into stakes in the ground, and then ride it... Genius!
Maybe even add some dirt (that I purchased from home depot?). How many bags of "trail mix" dirt would you have to buy for a 1 minute long track?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Good news
When the robots come, and we will, we can now justify killing everyone:
if granny can operate a machine gun, then we can justify killing her too.
if granny can operate a machine gun, then we can justify killing her too.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
took the words right out of our metal robot mouths
Monday, November 2, 2009
New bikes for 2010
New team bikes! We at Team Robot are really excited to be working with DopeShit Rim Company for 2010.
I know, it's not funny anymore. We're really running out of material here.
I don't know if i've already posted this car picture, but it's still sweet:
So what's going on at Teamr0b0tland? Mainly:
1. The Baaron's still selling his bike
2. Your Team sucks
3. Our Team rules
4. I went down to California and rode a roller coaster that was so scary it wasn't fun.
5. Your Team still sucks
6. Digging a new downhill trail. No, you don't know where it is.
7. No, I'm not going to tell you
8. The TEAM ROBOT resume looks sweet. Check it out:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/22046075
I know, it's not funny anymore. We're really running out of material here.
I don't know if i've already posted this car picture, but it's still sweet:
So what's going on at Teamr0b0tland? Mainly:
1. The Baaron's still selling his bike
2. Your Team sucks
3. Our Team rules
4. I went down to California and rode a roller coaster that was so scary it wasn't fun.
5. Your Team still sucks
6. Digging a new downhill trail. No, you don't know where it is.
7. No, I'm not going to tell you
8. The TEAM ROBOT resume looks sweet. Check it out:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/22046075
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
selling my glory hole
If you’ve been looking for a chance to own part of what’s made team robot so awesomely amazing over the past 2 seasons, here it is! I’m selling my Glory frame in preparation for next year’s bike.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Konarider69
First of all, watch the "Count Censored" vid in post #400. Amazing. Watch it twice.
Second of all, Patrick sent you to konarider69's profile, but he neglected to show you some of the highlights. Check out these works of genius:
Well, as if the previous Konarider69 revolution in suspension technology wasn't enough, check out his eighteen link, shock-placement-would-put-it-in-the-tire, single-pivot wonder:
On a lighter note, this is the best BMX segment in a long time. Jaw dropping, good old fashioned shredding on creative, often times massive lines. NO TAILWHIPS!!!
Second of all, Patrick sent you to konarider69's profile, but he neglected to show you some of the highlights. Check out these works of genius:
Well, as if the previous Konarider69 revolution in suspension technology wasn't enough, check out his eighteen link, shock-placement-would-put-it-in-the-tire, single-pivot wonder:
On a lighter note, this is the best BMX segment in a long time. Jaw dropping, good old fashioned shredding on creative, often times massive lines. NO TAILWHIPS!!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
400TH POST!!
ROBOTS like numbers and 400 is a big one so we are pretty excited.
first off i think i am going to purchase this for a practical and stylish pit vehicle for at the races.
this is pretty funny
actual internet conversation with drew (pooh bear) check out his blog
"haha
i just found out i have swastikas all over me in sharpie
at least i hope it is sharpie"
"it says slut hunter on my arm
haha"
fbm put up the whole gypsy caravan vid.
and one of our favorite pinkbike people ever. KONA-RIDER69
first off i think i am going to purchase this for a practical and stylish pit vehicle for at the races.
this is pretty funny
actual internet conversation with drew (pooh bear) check out his blog
"haha
i just found out i have swastikas all over me in sharpie
at least i hope it is sharpie"
"it says slut hunter on my arm
haha"
fbm put up the whole gypsy caravan vid.
Full Gypsy Caravan Video 08 from FBM BMX on Vimeo.
and one of our favorite pinkbike people ever. KONA-RIDER69
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Brian Lopes
This is actually on the Kenda Website:
"Brian Lopes wanted Kenda to make a tire that would roll fast and grip well for his style of riding: hard, fast and winning."
Yeah, I bet. Do I even need to finish this joke? Yes.
"Brian Lopes wanted Kenda to make a... that would roll fast and grip well for his style of riding: hard, fast..."
Support the resistance!
"Brian Lopes wanted Kenda to make a tire that would roll fast and grip well for his style of riding: hard, fast and winning."
Yeah, I bet. Do I even need to finish this joke? Yes.
"Brian Lopes wanted Kenda to make a... that would roll fast and grip well for his style of riding: hard, fast..."
Support the resistance!
New Poll/Mexican TV
new poll on the right, Team Robot is considering a name change. If you have a good idea that isn't listed, please feel free to never tell me because I don't really care what you think.
Speaking of not caring what you think, you probably won't find this next video nearly as funny as I do. Too bad.
Speaking of not caring what you think, you probably won't find this next video nearly as funny as I do. Too bad.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Mustaches are still killin' it
Tony Cardona in Costa Rica from Profile Racing on Vimeo.
Simple riding done well. Plus some horrific screaming.
Ground: 1, Baaron: 0
I just got this email from BMX Brad:
"I just found these sweet pics of arron messing his face up. I dont think he has seen them. hope the trails are going well.
-brad davis"
Needless to say, stoked. I think Aaron crashed at Tualatin skatepark, which is funny because Tualatin is famous for being the smallest skatepark ever. So get a cold beverage, kick back and relax as you gaze into Aaron's bloody cheek vagina. Remember people, these pictures are circa 2006, so feel free to really enjoy his now long-gone pain and suffering.
Ow.
"I just found these sweet pics of arron messing his face up. I dont think he has seen them. hope the trails are going well.
-brad davis"
Needless to say, stoked. I think Aaron crashed at Tualatin skatepark, which is funny because Tualatin is famous for being the smallest skatepark ever. So get a cold beverage, kick back and relax as you gaze into Aaron's bloody cheek vagina. Remember people, these pictures are circa 2006, so feel free to really enjoy his now long-gone pain and suffering.
Ow.
New TEAMROBOT whips
We just got our new team bikes in. We're really excited about the new Team Robot/Giant Bicycles collabo limited colorway. We've been studying colorways a lot, and we determined that limiting them would be ideal for domestic markets. I don't actually remember why we abbreviated "collabo." I think that's what Fred down in marketing recommended.
We are currently also looking for many more white parts. We at Team Robot are really excited about hunting down some more matching white parts to complete the ever-popular "white-out" look on our team bikes.
That means we are looking for any and all of the following parts in white "colorways":
cranks
pedals
shifter housing
tires
brake levers/calipers
Brake pads
seatpost
rims
spokes
hubs
hydraulic brake lines
housing ferrules
valve caps
innertubes
titanium bolts
grips
fork oil
chainrings
chain
brake rotors
Anything else would be a big help.
On a more serious note, this Citroen is rad, even though it's only partially white. Team robot is also looking to acquire this as our new Teamrobot race vehicle.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
MY NEW FAVORITE ONLINE VIDEO EVER
The Kids in America
I had the chance to hang out with Evan Powell from (Boulder?) Colorado last weekend. Super nice kid, and he went on to win the Junior X division on a very tough, very blown Skibowl lower half. That's sweet, but what's even cooler is his senior photo.
He told me all about his senior picture, about how he took it in a fuzzy sweater with a cat. I thought, "Oh, that's pretty funny." When he said, "people will look back and think I was a rapist," I thought that was even funnier. I thought it would be a moderately funny picture.
I was wrong:
Holy shit, holy shit, best photo ever.
He told me all about his senior picture, about how he took it in a fuzzy sweater with a cat. I thought, "Oh, that's pretty funny." When he said, "people will look back and think I was a rapist," I thought that was even funnier. I thought it would be a moderately funny picture.
I was wrong:
Holy shit, holy shit, best photo ever.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
2010 Intense tires
2010 Intense Tires - More Mountain Bike Videos
Hot off the presses. The 2.5 DH Fro-Lite treated me awesome all year, and is the only tread pattern (except one two-day whistler trip) that I've ridden in the past 2 years. I approve.
For 2010 the DH becomes the way more awesome/badass sounding "Invader!" (Exclamation point mine). At $39.00 bucks and with a newer, grippier, lighter rubber compound to boot, they're pretty tough to beat.
-Chaz
P.S. It was a rough weekend up on Mt. Hood for all the members of Team Robot. I don't really want to talk about it right now. 0100101001010101110100101010
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Attention customers everywhere:
You are not always right:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1192150038.html
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1192150038.html
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Sam Hill takes it
Brendan Fairclough rides like a madman. Check out the video at about 5:12. REtarded.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The best trails I've never seen
These blew my mind. So many good lines. The riding is good, then better, then unreal. Bar spin to manual out on trails? What?
Luciano Fucking Worl
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Patrick the fucking champ
Last Sunday, Patrick got the first win for Team Robot in 2009. Booyah.
His podium attire and candor were both dialed. Clearly, Pat has things figured out.
Landon came in second. noth of those guys are really talented bike riders. Especially on a pumptrack. I would say Patrick won that race doing what he does best, but we'd all know I was referring not so much to his pumptrack skills, but his being drunk skills.
making up for missing metal monday.
sorry, i suck at computers.
but this post doesnt suck enjoy.
best music video ever
but this post doesnt suck enjoy.
best music video ever
I rule
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Safety Dance
Sweet movie from what appears to be the most continually technical track on the whole circuit. At Bromont, it looks like no feature or section ever last more than 10 or 15 seconds. Pretty tough for a track that short. Minnaar with the win, and Mitch Ropelato with the award for best whip at 1:35.
Frightening trivia and compelling facts about the Safety Dance:
* This dance has caused the deaths of at least 98 Iraqis since the 2003 invasion, although on the upside it has the ability to disarm IED's.
* 5,325 people have been injured while perpenisforming the Safety Dance since 1898 (mainly due to the high class synth riffs).
* Of the 774 deaths known to be caused by the Safety Dance in civilized Western Europe, 81 were due to reprisals by horrified Nazi's in the Treblinka Death Camp. The rest were the result of poor training in the use of maypoles.
* The Safety Dance was performed for the first time in 1492 at the request of Queen Isabella of Castile. On this day a new order was proclaimed: The Order of "Los Hombres Sin Cabezas", or in Real American, 'Men Without Hats.' They would be the keepers of the International Safety Dance for years to come, although for centuries only Charter Members of The Trilateral Commission who had passed both the intense scrutiny of 'double secret probation' and the 'Camel Walk' test would be allowed to know all the secret moves it involved.
* If you play the song backwards, you will awaken the spirit of the Bee Gees.
* If you play the song forwards at 4X speed, you will awaken the spirit of Lance Armstrong's amputated testicle.
* The real irony of The Safety Dance is that safety is, of course, never guaranteed and thus it is required by US Federal Law to carry a bright orance OSHA warning sticker.
* It is the only dance that requires the performer to register their hands as lethal weapons in Flekkefjord, Norway and Gun Barrel City, Texas (hence the importance of looking at them at critical moments during the dance itself).
You don't ned to read all of this. but you should:
Also courtesy of Craigslist:
PLEASE NOTE: This probably doesn’t apply to you. But some sellers need to have a good long look at this.
Everyone has the right to sell their bikes for whatever they want, but those who do not know what they are talking about need a sanity check. Granted, I know the economy is bad and you might have found a “jewel” in the rough - but for crying out loud, do some research beforehand.
The following is an elementary guide for those of you who are absolutely clueless about your garage sale or thrift store finds:
1) Just because your bike was made in Europe doesn’t mean you’ve got a winner. They made a lot of junk, too.
2) A low end bike that was $97.00 in 1976 is not, magically, worth $400.00 now.
3) Adult bikes do not have goosenecks.
4) If the chain is conspicuously rusty and kinked in the picture, nobody is going to fall for your claims of “mint condition.”
5) If you get asked how many speeds it has and do not know nor care, pull your ad. Immediately.
6) Telling us that you found it in a barn is not a rationale for overpricing it.
7) Take OFF the $10 price tag from Goodwill before you take your Craigslist picture and ask $250 for it.
8 ) “Light and FAST!” . . . Ok, if you say so.
9) Not everything with those kooky, curvy handlebars is a race bike.
10) Neither is a race bike “improved” by flipping those curvy handlebars upside down.
11) Don’t be offended if someone offers you an insulting amount that is far less than you want for your bike - they’re just smarter than you.
12) Don’t get ticked off if someone low-balls you when you state “make offer” in your ad. You asked for it.
13) Tires are tires and wheels are wheels. These terms are not interchangeable.
14) Breaks should be referred to as “brakes”, petles or petals as “pedals”.
15) Your bike was not made by Shimano, Suntour, or Campagnolo. I know you saw that name somewhere on it, but just trust me on this one.
16) Vintage implies it was worth something when it was new, otherwise it’s just OLD.
17) High tensile steel - yeah, they put a sticker on the bike that says it but I wouldn’t be bragging about it.
18) Go ahead and repost that 10 speed Huffy every week - no one will tire of its charm. If you’re willing to endure the humiliation, we’ll be there for you until you reach your target market.
19) ALL CAPS DOES NOT MAKE IT A BETTER BIKE.
20) Pictures of the LEFT side of the bike aren’t worth much of anything, nobody can see the drivetrain. All things considered, perhaps you’d rather want to hide it anyway.
21) Blurry pictures add a negative symbol to your price tag.
22) If you steal someone else’s photos (not the manufacturer’s) from the web and use them to represent your own bike, you are absolute scum.
23) “Suitable for fixie conversion” doesn’t make a POS frame any more valuable. For that matter…WHAT makes it suitable?
24) If you think your bicycle is worth a four figure sum ($x,xxx), the LEAST you could do is to spell the brand and component names correctly (eg. Trek, not treck; Schwinn, not shwin; Campagnolo, not Campagnola; and Shimano - not shmano, shimono, or shamano)
25) Include the size of the bicycle! No, it’s not the tire size. It’s measured from the center of the cranks (the big sprocket) to the top of the seat tube (before the silver or black post that holds the seat [saddle].) It needs to be in either inches or centimeters. Both if you are nice.
26) NEXT, Magna, Huffy, Roadmaster, and Murray are NOT highly-respected brands. Get over it.
27) Taking a nice multispeed road bike that was posted here two days ago for a reasonable price raping it of all good derailleur parts, making it a single speed with a $22 Chinese bmx cog from performancebike.com does not double or triple its value or make it a “race bike” or “fixie”.
28) There is no such thing as a road mountain bike.
29) Just because you are selling it for a friend doesn’t make you an expert if you are not
30) If you don’t list the brand and it is unreadable in the photos, we will assume it is a POS
31) Research the going price of your bike before posting
32) Just because it cost a lot 10 years ago when it was brand new and you have barely rode it, doesn’t mean it is worth 50% + of new price (see #31)
33) Just because you bought it within the past year doesn’t mean someone is going to pay close to what you paid, especially if the new model years are coming out and yours is now discounted
34) Don’t use terms you do not understand - if it does not have rear suspension, it is not full suspension
35) Proofread - I have never seen a bike measured in feet but I’ve seen a lot of 26′ bikes posted
36) If it is a *mart bike and you just paid to have it “tuned up”, you probably just wasted your money as the tune up was probably more than the bike is worth
37) We don’t want to call for basic information you should have posted or to have you send us pictures
38) Don’t sell a used helmet unless you really did just buy it, otherwise it may have been crashed and is a safety hazard
I hope this has cleared up some things for the cycling-challenged sellers .
PLEASE NOTE: This probably doesn’t apply to you. But some sellers need to have a good long look at this.
Everyone has the right to sell their bikes for whatever they want, but those who do not know what they are talking about need a sanity check. Granted, I know the economy is bad and you might have found a “jewel” in the rough - but for crying out loud, do some research beforehand.
The following is an elementary guide for those of you who are absolutely clueless about your garage sale or thrift store finds:
1) Just because your bike was made in Europe doesn’t mean you’ve got a winner. They made a lot of junk, too.
2) A low end bike that was $97.00 in 1976 is not, magically, worth $400.00 now.
3) Adult bikes do not have goosenecks.
4) If the chain is conspicuously rusty and kinked in the picture, nobody is going to fall for your claims of “mint condition.”
5) If you get asked how many speeds it has and do not know nor care, pull your ad. Immediately.
6) Telling us that you found it in a barn is not a rationale for overpricing it.
7) Take OFF the $10 price tag from Goodwill before you take your Craigslist picture and ask $250 for it.
8 ) “Light and FAST!” . . . Ok, if you say so.
9) Not everything with those kooky, curvy handlebars is a race bike.
10) Neither is a race bike “improved” by flipping those curvy handlebars upside down.
11) Don’t be offended if someone offers you an insulting amount that is far less than you want for your bike - they’re just smarter than you.
12) Don’t get ticked off if someone low-balls you when you state “make offer” in your ad. You asked for it.
13) Tires are tires and wheels are wheels. These terms are not interchangeable.
14) Breaks should be referred to as “brakes”, petles or petals as “pedals”.
15) Your bike was not made by Shimano, Suntour, or Campagnolo. I know you saw that name somewhere on it, but just trust me on this one.
16) Vintage implies it was worth something when it was new, otherwise it’s just OLD.
17) High tensile steel - yeah, they put a sticker on the bike that says it but I wouldn’t be bragging about it.
18) Go ahead and repost that 10 speed Huffy every week - no one will tire of its charm. If you’re willing to endure the humiliation, we’ll be there for you until you reach your target market.
19) ALL CAPS DOES NOT MAKE IT A BETTER BIKE.
20) Pictures of the LEFT side of the bike aren’t worth much of anything, nobody can see the drivetrain. All things considered, perhaps you’d rather want to hide it anyway.
21) Blurry pictures add a negative symbol to your price tag.
22) If you steal someone else’s photos (not the manufacturer’s) from the web and use them to represent your own bike, you are absolute scum.
23) “Suitable for fixie conversion” doesn’t make a POS frame any more valuable. For that matter…WHAT makes it suitable?
24) If you think your bicycle is worth a four figure sum ($x,xxx), the LEAST you could do is to spell the brand and component names correctly (eg. Trek, not treck; Schwinn, not shwin; Campagnolo, not Campagnola; and Shimano - not shmano, shimono, or shamano)
25) Include the size of the bicycle! No, it’s not the tire size. It’s measured from the center of the cranks (the big sprocket) to the top of the seat tube (before the silver or black post that holds the seat [saddle].) It needs to be in either inches or centimeters. Both if you are nice.
26) NEXT, Magna, Huffy, Roadmaster, and Murray are NOT highly-respected brands. Get over it.
27) Taking a nice multispeed road bike that was posted here two days ago for a reasonable price raping it of all good derailleur parts, making it a single speed with a $22 Chinese bmx cog from performancebike.com does not double or triple its value or make it a “race bike” or “fixie”.
28) There is no such thing as a road mountain bike.
29) Just because you are selling it for a friend doesn’t make you an expert if you are not
30) If you don’t list the brand and it is unreadable in the photos, we will assume it is a POS
31) Research the going price of your bike before posting
32) Just because it cost a lot 10 years ago when it was brand new and you have barely rode it, doesn’t mean it is worth 50% + of new price (see #31)
33) Just because you bought it within the past year doesn’t mean someone is going to pay close to what you paid, especially if the new model years are coming out and yours is now discounted
34) Don’t use terms you do not understand - if it does not have rear suspension, it is not full suspension
35) Proofread - I have never seen a bike measured in feet but I’ve seen a lot of 26′ bikes posted
36) If it is a *mart bike and you just paid to have it “tuned up”, you probably just wasted your money as the tune up was probably more than the bike is worth
37) We don’t want to call for basic information you should have posted or to have you send us pictures
38) Don’t sell a used helmet unless you really did just buy it, otherwise it may have been crashed and is a safety hazard
I hope this has cleared up some things for the cycling-challenged sellers .
Courtesy of Craigslist
I'm No Hipster- Fixie for Sale
I tried to be a part time hipster, but it hasn't worked out. I so wanted to cruise through Hillsboro Village palping a wool cap and a Che Guevara Tshirt. I've tried to come slay the last few Critical Mass rides, but my kids always have soccer or want to go see Transformers or something. Skinny leg jeans don't fit me right. I'm too old. I'm can't learn how to do a tail whip or a hockey stop because I'm afraid I'll get hurt and ruin my triathlon season. I like Band of Horses, but it seems that it's just not enough. So, reality has overshadowed irony and nostalgia, and I have decided with a heavy heart to sell my fixie.
It's an awesome bike. The frame is a 1984 Schwinn World Sport, a collabo between US frame designers and Taiwanese frame builders, that is dressed in a gray metal flake colourway with oh so retro pink-and-white lettering. The paint is in surprisingly good condition, considering it's older than the target market for this listing. The bike sits on a new set of Sun Ringle deep-v rims in black with black spokes and hubs. The hubs roll like butter down a hot corn cob and the rear is a flip flop with a 17t fixed gear and an 18t freewhell already installed. The freewheel has never been used. I may not be hipster, but nobody's calling me a poseur. The rubber on this bike is from Soma and has plenty of wear left, with absolutely no flat spots from skid stopping. You'll be turning a 46t Sugino Messenger crank onthis baby, so bring your A game if you planning on crossing the bridge and rolling through the East Nashville hills. There's a new tektro brake installed on the front wheel with a crosstop BMX lever on the bullhorns, but don't worry, it's easily removable. There's also a set of drop bars and a new adjustable stem included in the sale for those who prefer a more tracky look. I've also go a new seatpost and a Ritchey pro headset pressed in. The saddle is a classic Schwinn stinger in candy apple red. I realize that pink and red is generally considered to be a faux pas, but I'm counting on potential buyers for the bike sharing my contempt for the Tsars of fashion.
The color scheme on this ride is guaranteed to instantly boost your street cred. I picked up on the pink in the bikes' native lettering, and as such, the bike has been finished with pink bar tape, pink toe cages, a pink chain and a pink bottle cage. The bottle cage is capable of holding both tallboys and 40s of malt liquor, or standard water bottles in case you prefer to rub the V and T on your Saturday cruise.
Because the bike is sized for riders 5'3" to 5'9" and pink, it's totally chick friendly. It will be a perfect pussy magnet for any hipster dude, at once displaying your sensitivity and your security in heterosexuality. For girls....hey, it's pink. I'm sure you have a pair of light green Rocket Dogs laying around. Perfect! This bike will make a perfect gift for your GF or hipster fiancee. Plus, at my price you'll have plenty of extra cash to have tribal bands tattooed on your wedding fingers. That, or you can cruise down to Planned Parenthood and split the bill for the abortion. Whatever, I'm not judging anyone, just trying to sell a bike.
Listen guys, if you're long on green and low on hipster rep, come buy this bike. Hurry up before I change my mind and quit shaving.
Location: Nashville
I tried to be a part time hipster, but it hasn't worked out. I so wanted to cruise through Hillsboro Village palping a wool cap and a Che Guevara Tshirt. I've tried to come slay the last few Critical Mass rides, but my kids always have soccer or want to go see Transformers or something. Skinny leg jeans don't fit me right. I'm too old. I'm can't learn how to do a tail whip or a hockey stop because I'm afraid I'll get hurt and ruin my triathlon season. I like Band of Horses, but it seems that it's just not enough. So, reality has overshadowed irony and nostalgia, and I have decided with a heavy heart to sell my fixie.
It's an awesome bike. The frame is a 1984 Schwinn World Sport, a collabo between US frame designers and Taiwanese frame builders, that is dressed in a gray metal flake colourway with oh so retro pink-and-white lettering. The paint is in surprisingly good condition, considering it's older than the target market for this listing. The bike sits on a new set of Sun Ringle deep-v rims in black with black spokes and hubs. The hubs roll like butter down a hot corn cob and the rear is a flip flop with a 17t fixed gear and an 18t freewhell already installed. The freewheel has never been used. I may not be hipster, but nobody's calling me a poseur. The rubber on this bike is from Soma and has plenty of wear left, with absolutely no flat spots from skid stopping. You'll be turning a 46t Sugino Messenger crank onthis baby, so bring your A game if you planning on crossing the bridge and rolling through the East Nashville hills. There's a new tektro brake installed on the front wheel with a crosstop BMX lever on the bullhorns, but don't worry, it's easily removable. There's also a set of drop bars and a new adjustable stem included in the sale for those who prefer a more tracky look. I've also go a new seatpost and a Ritchey pro headset pressed in. The saddle is a classic Schwinn stinger in candy apple red. I realize that pink and red is generally considered to be a faux pas, but I'm counting on potential buyers for the bike sharing my contempt for the Tsars of fashion.
The color scheme on this ride is guaranteed to instantly boost your street cred. I picked up on the pink in the bikes' native lettering, and as such, the bike has been finished with pink bar tape, pink toe cages, a pink chain and a pink bottle cage. The bottle cage is capable of holding both tallboys and 40s of malt liquor, or standard water bottles in case you prefer to rub the V and T on your Saturday cruise.
Because the bike is sized for riders 5'3" to 5'9" and pink, it's totally chick friendly. It will be a perfect pussy magnet for any hipster dude, at once displaying your sensitivity and your security in heterosexuality. For girls....hey, it's pink. I'm sure you have a pair of light green Rocket Dogs laying around. Perfect! This bike will make a perfect gift for your GF or hipster fiancee. Plus, at my price you'll have plenty of extra cash to have tribal bands tattooed on your wedding fingers. That, or you can cruise down to Planned Parenthood and split the bill for the abortion. Whatever, I'm not judging anyone, just trying to sell a bike.
Listen guys, if you're long on green and low on hipster rep, come buy this bike. Hurry up before I change my mind and quit shaving.
Location: Nashville
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
FBM Brawlin at the Belmar
Lots of pedaling+one enormous jump+really good riders+some not really good riders=best contest ever.
The dudes over at FBM have a pretty good grasp on what fun is.
Belmar 09... the final round! from FBM BMX on Vimeo.
The dudes over at FBM have a pretty good grasp on what fun is.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
This is crazy wack.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Paul Basagotia: Dialed
I wish I had 30 acres of flat, dusty, rural farmland.
If you can watch that whole video, than you, like me, have become a friend of suffering and acquainted with sorrow. That may have been the longest five minutes of my life.
I found Mr. Basagotia's slow, strained, and nearly unintelligible interview skills eerily similar to Nigel from Spinal Tap. See what you think:
By the way, Spinal Tap is amazing:
Paul Bassagoitia's compound from Jorge Alvarez on Vimeo.
If you can watch that whole video, than you, like me, have become a friend of suffering and acquainted with sorrow. That may have been the longest five minutes of my life.
I found Mr. Basagotia's slow, strained, and nearly unintelligible interview skills eerily similar to Nigel from Spinal Tap. See what you think:
By the way, Spinal Tap is amazing:
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Manitou Dorado! What we've all been waiting for:
Finally, after years of having to settle for normal looking, expensive, high performing 26" downhill forks, Manitou has come along and answered every mountain bikers prayers.
Now instead of having to choose between running one of the boring expensive, high performing 26" downhill forks, now you can run an ugly, even more expensive, poorly designed, underporforming 29 inch downhill fork.
2005 stickers
2010 stickers
That's right, Manitou didn't just rethink performance when they restickered their 6 year old platform, they also made it available for 29" forks! What more could you ask for. 29" wheels represent the obvious next dirction for downhillers, and Manitou and riding the crest of that wave of innovation:
Bummer, and here I am stuck running a Fox fork.
-Chaz
Now instead of having to choose between running one of the boring expensive, high performing 26" downhill forks, now you can run an ugly, even more expensive, poorly designed, underporforming 29 inch downhill fork.
2005 stickers
2010 stickers
That's right, Manitou didn't just rethink performance when they restickered their 6 year old platform, they also made it available for 29" forks! What more could you ask for. 29" wheels represent the obvious next dirction for downhillers, and Manitou and riding the crest of that wave of innovation:
Bummer, and here I am stuck running a Fox fork.
-Chaz
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Leisure time with Mr. Rollins
Original artwork courtesy of my new favorite non-TEAM ROBOT site, brandonbird.com
My new, official top favorite list looks like this:
1. TEAMROBOTKILLSYOURFACE.com
2. TEAMROBOTKILLSYOURFACE.com
3. TEAMROBOTKILLSYOURFACE.com
4. brandonbird.com
5. wolfparadise.com
Monday, September 7, 2009
Steve Peat: World Champion
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Stickers are really actually for sale
We just sold stickers. Somebody from Idaho, who also has a retarded blog, reads our retarded blog. Our Google Anyalytics say that 300 people visit our site. Other than the members of TEAMROBOT, I can now only name maybe 4.
People read this?
This has nothing to do with stickers, but it is a bummer. yes, it's a 29 inch downhill bike.
Now onto the goods...
$1.50 Small (7 1/2" x 1") TEAM RO8OT
$1.50 Small (7" x 1") D35TROYOU
Not pictured:
$2.50 Medium (4" x 8")
ROBOTS KILL
HUMANS DIE
$ 4.00 Big (13" x4") TEAM ROBOT
All the stickers come in three badass colors:
Barney Purple
Hunter Orange
All three colors are bright and irritating, the way stickers should be. They're not quite day-glow.
People read this?
This has nothing to do with stickers, but it is a bummer. yes, it's a 29 inch downhill bike.
Now onto the goods...
$1.50 Small (7 1/2" x 1") TEAM RO8OT
$1.50 Small (7" x 1") D35TROYOU
Not pictured:
$2.50 Medium (4" x 8")
ROBOTS KILL
HUMANS DIE
$ 4.00 Big (13" x4") TEAM ROBOT
All the stickers come in three badass colors:
Barney Purple
Hunter Orange
All three colors are bright and irritating, the way stickers should be. They're not quite day-glow.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Advice for Pro riders everywhere
stinkykid100 on pinkbike said that "it looked like hill and faircough were running a boxxer wich is 200mm fork i think that the syndicate team instead of running v10 should tone it down a liittle and go 4 the driver8 or the bullit and run boxxers on the driver 8s and totems on the bullits just what id do"
And here's the link: (link)
That's right Greg, better listen up. Maybe the bullit...
Monday, August 31, 2009
METAL MONDAY!
"deicide" cookie monster vocals, old guys head banging, and firm believers in satan..... what more could you ask for?? okay how about a transformers cartoon.
here you go.
-Pfunk
here you go.
-Pfunk
Eddy Merkin: Can anything stop the animal?
All of the goodness in this post was stolen from our friend Kyle's blog for his (also) imaginary bike team that doesn't actually exist but has a retarded blog that the three or so of them post things on that no one reads, a little team called Eddy Merkin.
This shit's for real. Their team has a logo and everything. If you don't get the joke, check wikipedia for any listings on what a "merkin" is.
Anway, their team is awesome. They beat us in the "badass taglines" category, here's just a small sample of ditilled awesome from their 4 page list:
Eddy Merkin:
Sorry about your confidence
Eddy Merkin:
Shot putting innocence
Eddy Merkin:
Is down if you are
Eddy Merkin:
Breathe it in
Eddy Merkin:
Dries his hands on gods beard
Eddy Merkin:
I win
Eddy Merkin:
Full on hard on
Eddy Merkin:
Can anything stop the animal?
Eddy Merkin:
Allows Gravity
Eddy Merkin:
“Thanks, I know.”
Team Robot:
Yeah, I know, they're winning.
EMBED-Couch Airbag Explosion Surprise - Watch more free videos
Pure Genius here: (Click this link)
For all the people who bought WRX's, you're doing it wrong:
More goodness from Team Eddy:
"If you watch any of these, watch this, the best"
I stole everything off their page.
This shit's for real. Their team has a logo and everything. If you don't get the joke, check wikipedia for any listings on what a "merkin" is.
Anway, their team is awesome. They beat us in the "badass taglines" category, here's just a small sample of ditilled awesome from their 4 page list:
Eddy Merkin:
Sorry about your confidence
Eddy Merkin:
Shot putting innocence
Eddy Merkin:
Is down if you are
Eddy Merkin:
Breathe it in
Eddy Merkin:
Dries his hands on gods beard
Eddy Merkin:
I win
Eddy Merkin:
Full on hard on
Eddy Merkin:
Can anything stop the animal?
Eddy Merkin:
Allows Gravity
Eddy Merkin:
“Thanks, I know.”
Team Robot:
Yeah, I know, they're winning.
EMBED-Couch Airbag Explosion Surprise - Watch more free videos
Pure Genius here: (Click this link)
For all the people who bought WRX's, you're doing it wrong:
More goodness from Team Eddy:
"If you watch any of these, watch this, the best"
I stole everything off their page.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Fixed gear bikes still suck
But Chris Akrigg doesn't:
Team Robot Editor's Note:
Team Robot in no way condones the use of the words "fixie," "fixie lifestyle," "one gear one life," "track bike barspin," or any other words that conjure up images of wannabe poor urbanite 20, 30, or 40 somethings who try to extend their adolescence as long as possible with things like awkwardly tight jeans, messenger bags, and v-neck t-shirts.
So just to clarify:
Fixed gear=bad
Chris Akrigg=good
Team Robot Editor's Note:
Team Robot in no way condones the use of the words "fixie," "fixie lifestyle," "one gear one life," "track bike barspin," or any other words that conjure up images of wannabe poor urbanite 20, 30, or 40 somethings who try to extend their adolescence as long as possible with things like awkwardly tight jeans, messenger bags, and v-neck t-shirts.
So just to clarify:
Fixed gear=bad
Chris Akrigg=good
Other things that are cool: Team Robot
Just when you thought we were all dead, prepare to think again!
Stickers ARE IN!
If these look sweet to you, email us at Teamrobot@gmail.com. Actually, we never check that email, so email me at my actual email address:
lospons88381@yahoo.com
Stickers will cost money, so send in like $5.00 and we'll send you enough stickers to look almost as awesome as Team Robot. The stickers are thanks to our buddy Eric Johnson and his design firm/badass art studio Hankbuilt. Thanks Eric.
But seriously, we got teamrobot@gmail.com. We had to add "killsyourface" to the end of our URL, and still nobody had teamrobot@gmail.com. Bitches.
In other news I bought all my polishing stuff. My bike is going to look dope. And yes, the mini-powerball is already annihilated from the grit in my aluminum frame. I'll be washing my bike and polishing wheel a lot.
Stickers ARE IN!
If these look sweet to you, email us at Teamrobot@gmail.com. Actually, we never check that email, so email me at my actual email address:
lospons88381@yahoo.com
Stickers will cost money, so send in like $5.00 and we'll send you enough stickers to look almost as awesome as Team Robot. The stickers are thanks to our buddy Eric Johnson and his design firm/badass art studio Hankbuilt. Thanks Eric.
But seriously, we got teamrobot@gmail.com. We had to add "killsyourface" to the end of our URL, and still nobody had teamrobot@gmail.com. Bitches.
In other news I bought all my polishing stuff. My bike is going to look dope. And yes, the mini-powerball is already annihilated from the grit in my aluminum frame. I'll be washing my bike and polishing wheel a lot.
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