Reason #513 why I haven't posted on Team Robot in a while

You suck.

Empirically speaking, within the academic literature this position is widely agreed upon. In case there are any skeptics, I've prepared a helpful pie chart that takes an otherwise complex, boring, wordy academic theory and puts it in simple, easy to understand terms:

As you can see in the chart, I concede that I do suck. You just suck a lot more.