Saturday, October 13, 2012

POW/Diamondback

This is one of the blogs that I read/steal content from/don't give credit to/don't normally post a link to: http://powsbmx.com/

It's a bunch of bmx guys down in Redding or Chico or somewhere in actual NorCal. They live in the infamous POW house, build jumps you couldn't ride, and do things on those jumps that you couldn't do on a playstation. Lots of party pics on the site, too, ranging from funny to horrifying to potentially-career-ending-if-they-ever-land-in-a-boss's-hands. Here's some of that riding:



No way you could do this. I'm not really clear on what's even going on here.






That far off the bike and that relaxed? No way you're gonna make that happen.







Again, let's be honest; in the same position, you would be messing your pants and bailing right then. 






It's so simple, just a table top, but you've never done a table top that stylish in your whole life.





Changing subjects, here's some news from my favorite internet addiction, Pinkbike! PB reports from some random event I've never heard of called Roc D'Azur: http://www.pinkbike.com/news/Roc-DAzur-2012-Diamondback.html

Like I said, I've never heard of this new bike festival event thing, and I don't know what "rock d'azur" means.  I don't speak commie or funny foreigner speak, but I do know that azure is a fancy word for the color blue, and I know what the term "rocks" or "stones" can refer to, so based on my best translation, I think Roc D'Azur is french for blue balls.

Team Robot giving you the straight dope.

Anyway, I just saw these slick new bikes from Diamondback in Pinkbike's newest article from the Blue Balls Bike Festival:




If this bike doesn't look like fun to you, you suck at life. This thing was made to manual and jump, and it has a low low low BB to rip corners. Toss in a tapered steerer tube, a big tube set, and a 142 rear end and you're looking at a bike that can put up with 195 pound me without riding like one of these:

The rear end of most 10mm dropout slalom bikes.


I really liked the old blue/white Boeing airliner paint job from the ages of yore, but this new orange is maybe even better. Speaking of the Boeing theme, this bike is no longer called the "Dreamliner;" because that plane sucked and we don't.
The old bike. Not too shabby, but the new bike's even sweeter. And not just "bold new graphics." New rear axle, dropout rear pivot, 2013 Fox CTD shock, and a new rear triangle brace=sweeter, stiffer, faster. And bold new graphics.


It's still a prototype, but for now it's tentatively named the "4X Slopestyle bike." I compete in neither one of these events, but I was still hopeful that I might be able to pick up one of these bikes because they look like so much fun. When I called up the guys at Diamondback they said "Welcome to Pizza Hut, how can I help you tonight?"

When the guys at Diamondback welcomed me back to the team for 2013, they gave me the phone number for the "new marketing department." I was really excited, but the new marketing dept seems to have reorganized and restaffed a little; I didn't know anyone at the new marketing dept and the new staff didn't seem to know much about the new 2013 completes and frame sets, or the race schedule. But I'm persistent, so I kept asking them about the new 4X bike and when it might be available for team riders. They just wanted to tell me about this month's special "Zingin' Baked Pasta Two-fer Promotion."

I asked to talk to the manager, but he wasn't a whole lot more helpful. I'm sure they'll sort out the staffing details at the new marketing department soon. So yeah, the new marketing guys are a little hard to work with, but you've got to stay focused on the positives, and I'm stoked to be going into year two on the Diamondback DF5 with a solid relationship based on trust, respect, and open lines of communication.






This new bike is called the Axis, and I think it looks pretty cool. I know that I am never, ever, ever supposed to admit that any 29er or 650b (er?) is cool, but this bike is different for a couple reasons:


  1. Most importantly, it's a hard tail, so no ones pretending that it designed for jumping and turning. In this context, big wheels are sort of okay I guess. It's a straight up light weight pedaling machine.
  2. It looks really clean. It looks like a fighter jet. By the way, I have a looser definition of what "a couple" means when it precedes a numbered list, so bear with me for a few more reasons...
  3. I'm really tall, and big wheels would make a bike like this feel pretty reasonable for a guy like me. Also, I won't look like a bear on a clown bike when I ride it. And it's a not a 29er, so the wheel size is still very flickable and fun.
  4. I only have a 6-inch Mission as a normal mountain bike, and while it can do anything, it's just way too much bike for a lot of rides. Having a bike like the Axis in the quiver would be super fun, and would be a great way to spice up old, boring rides I've been on a bunch.
  5. I have never ridden a bike with 650 b wheels, but they're not 29 inches. My hate for 29ers is sort of analogous to hating Oregon State. I hate the Beavers because they are what they are, and there's nothing they can ever do to overcome this divide between us. My hate is fundamental and unshaking: I will cheer against them with all of my being. When someone else comes along that can defeat them, they are my new ally- "my enemy's enemy is my friend," if you will. If 650b can destroy the 29er, than I will help them in any way I can.
  6. I've never ridden a 29er, either. That's not really a reason I like the Axis, but I thought now was as good a time as any to bring it up.






I already have this bike, but the downhill bike recently got a name change for2013, and I think it was a smart move for DB. The DH bike was previously was called the "Syncline," named after a famous riding spot outside of Hood River, Oregon. Even if you don't recognize the name, I'm sure you'd recognize the place. Every bike company on the planet has done at least one catalog shoot there to take advantage of the scenic vistas and breathtaking other stuff and skies and whatever.


Here's an old school shot from Tim Zim, shooting Mr. Sledneck himself, Art Babcock out at Syncline back in 2010. The point is that it's really easy to shoot pretty pictures out at Syncline, and even Tim had to work hard to get shots that didn't look like everyone else's.

We used to ride downhill out at Syncline a lot, but then we discovered real trails, namely Ravens Ridge and all the other BW creations, or as I like to call them "the best trails in the entire world." So now, every year, like clockwork, once we've ridden the same really god trails over and over again, we get cabin fever and try to relive the glory days by getting a crew together to go shuttle syncline. And every year, like clockwork, we remember why we never ride there anymore. It requires a ten minute pedal in and a ten minute pedal out, there's not much actual trail, it's a super long, rough shuttle, it's a lot of the same kind of trail, and it's in Washington, which means there's sales tax and you have to pump your own gas, and that's just brutal. Don't get me wrong, it's a great place for a trail bike. It's an awesome place for a trail bike, actually. But we're talking downhill bikes.

So the new name for the bike is the DB8. It's simple, it's easy to remember. It's even descriptive: it's a Diamondback, and it gets 8 inches of travel.

And whereas the old name brought back memories of exhaustion and disappointment, the new name reminds me of my favorite Mariachi band, Del Bueno Ocho, or DB8 for short:


They tear it up, man.



So I'm pumped to be riding for Diamondback again for 2013 and racing my DB8 to some more wins. Booyah:


I don't have any new pictures to share, but this TimZim gem from last year will do the trick. I don't know what's worse: the half-baked, mid-sneeze facial expression or the fact that there was a front derailleur on my bike for 2 weeks. Eww.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Kill List



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Everyone's butthurt about RAMPAGE!!!

Before saying anything else, let me congratulate Kurt Sorge, your 2012 RAMPAGE!!! champ:



Not only did he win the gnarliest mountain bike competition in the world, but he also reached this level of accomplishment with no real freedom to speak of in his home country. Overcoming that sort of impediment takes dedication, perseverance, and a truly optimistic view of the world. I hope you really enjoy yourself before you have to go back to $7 beers in Canada.



Found this online. It's not comprehensive, but it hits on a lot of the important points.





Now, back to what everyone's complaining about:





"The judges at RAMPAGE!!! sucked [insert NFL replacement refs joke here]!"

"Dude, I'm totally stoked for KurtBro, but the McCaul brothers got, like, robbed."

"RAMPAGE!!! was weak this year. Like, the progression, was like, not there, broseph."

"RAMPAGE!!! regressed since Cam Zink 360'd the Oakley drop last time. And yes, in my mind that was the only thing that happened at RAMPAGE!!! in 2010."


So, first of all, you suck. Not at riding; I suck at riding, too. You just suck at life. The riding level that was seen at RAMPAGE!!! is so far beyond your puny mortal comprehension that you should be thankful they even let you watch. There are exactly 3 things that happened on that hill all week that wouldn't have made you immediately drop to the floor convulsing in sheer amazement until you crapped yourself and passed out. I don't even care about RAMPAGE!!! and I still realize that the riding is straight up brutal. It's so gnarly that most of the riders prepare a will beforehand and kiss their women  as they head into battle:








But, you say, the general quality of competition was lower than last year. Here's a quick, six-photo photo essay on why the competition level in Finals this year was a little lower than you might have hoped:





 


The reason you didn't see everyone you wanted to see in the finals is because half of them almost crippled themselves in their attempt to entertain you. You suck.





But here's something to cheer you up: Half of Earthed Five, pirated online and in 240p. I've included brief descriptions of each scene and why it's more interesting than RAMPAGE!!!


The best downhill course that ever lived, plus another episode of "An anthology of British punk rock with Alex Rankin":







Lots of crushing, and lots of flat pedal thunder at MSA. Sam Hill surprises himself and no one else when he wins. Mr. Personality himself, Greg Minnaar, has his arm fall out of his body and still finishes in 2nd. One of the best, most creative, song choices ever. Beats the hell out of "Rise Against."






People falling is always funny. Mr. Hill at his all-time peak:






Seems simple when you walk it, but it's "pretty full on at speed" in the words of the caterpillar eyebrow'd man from Koala Land:






This song is terrible, but Adam Brayton is gnarly and a super nice guy, too:






This song is also from Eski boy and is also unbearable, but whatever, if you were going to watch this you already watched five of these, so you probably don't have much going on today anyway:







And just in case there was any doubt that Sam Hill can turn his bike wherever and whenever he wants, or that tracks really were more interesting back in the day, consult this poorly pirated video:

Working hard at school


Friday, October 5, 2012

MXDN/Nico Vink/RAMPAGE!!!


America just finished losing to a bunch of European funny talkers in the Motocross des Nations, which was held last weekend in Sandville, the Netherlands. Or Belgium. I think it's the same place, but I'm not sure. The U.S. team was Dungey, Baggett, and Barcia, meaning that even though no one in the U.S. likes 2 of our three riders, they were still fast and we should have won. We've won for like, 10 years straight or something now, so obviously the boys let us down big time.

We came in third, and it was actually the German team that won the title, led by AMA Lites phenom Ken Roczen. Which is funny to me because the last time we faced off against the Germans in Belgium, the Germans didn't do as much winning. If you type in "Lommel Belgium WW2" into Google image search, the top 20 hits are all pictures of this German cemetery:



But that's not really the point. The point is that you need to check out the MXDN coverage on Brotocross, because it's way funnier than TEAM ROBOT. Really. Like, at ROBOT HQ we're just playing checkers and over there at Brotocross they're playing chess. Whether you know anything about MX or not (I clearly don't), you really owe it to yourself to read Brotocross; they see the world pretty clearly over there. The MXDN coverage on Brotocross is some of their best work yet. Your whole day sucked so far, so do yourself a favor and learn something:

http://brotocross.com/featured/a-few-bro-points-from-motocross-des-nations-why-america-still-rules/






Speaking of the Netherlands, or Holland, or Belgium... I think those are the same place? No one cares.


Nico Vink is also from Belgium, and he is currently crushing it at RAMPAGE!!! The first run scores are in for qualifying, Vink is ranked fifth and should make the cut for finals. As far as the normal RAMPAGE!!! crew is concerned, Nico Vink is just some random midpack world cup guy who lives in a flat country and rides moto sometimes. Guess again, freeriders.

When I do good in a race I like to look down the list and see all the people I beat, even if they had crappy runs or crahed or flatted, so without further adieu, here is the list of people that Nico Vink beat out after his first run in RAMPAGE!!! Just for fun, in the parentheses after the rider's name is our best guess based on no evidence whatsoever as to how much more all these people get paid to ride than Nico Vink:

Brett Rheeder $$

Casey Groves $$

Martin Soderstrom (dolla dolla bills y'all)

Greg Watts $$$

Mick Hannah (Mick Hannah gets paid in the blood of his enemies)

Garret Buehler (nobody cares about big mountain riding)

Sam Pilgrim $$$$$

Anthony Messere $$$$$

Mike Hopkins $$

Brendan Fairclough (more than the other top 35 riders on the WC combined)

Kenny Smith (Kenny Smith gets paid in shoes that boost his height)

Chris Van Dine (Chris Van Dine is a soul blader)


But Nico Vink isn't just some rando from Europe in the Eyes of TEAM ROBOT. He's been crushing it for a long time. Brotocross does a lot of top 5 lists, but they can construct a coherent thought and we can't. So here's a garbled mess of reasons why Nico Vink should be your favorite rider at RAMPAGE!!!








A REASON!

MX Trails Jam from GroundedBMX on Vimeo.

He's the one in the green Vans shirt that's better than everyone else.




ANOTHER REASON!

This is his helmet for RAMPAGE!!! and because everyone else in the mountain bike world sucks that wasn't front page news on every site on the internet.






ANOTHER REASON!


Sending it in his race run back in '07 at some random Euro race no one cares about




ANOTHER REASON!
He's got a riding section in like, half the Earthed movies. There's five Earthed movies, but in ROBOT world you can divide 5 by two and get a whole number. But the point is, if you're not a top ten kind of guy and Rankin wants to film with you, you don't suck.






ANOTHER REASON!

He hasn't gotten his F%*@ed up teeth fixed yet. History has shown that as young athletes progress, ugly physical deformities can drive them to overcompensate for their appearance and perform well above their God-given abilities. Then, when they reach the big time and start getting paid real money, they get their shit fixed, the ladies start noticing them, and then they switch to half-efforts and wash out in a couple years. 



Vink still looks like he took a healthy beating from the ugly stick, so he's got tons of potential left.







ANOTHER REASON!


Did you notice ye olde Pinkbike water mark at the bottom of the picture? That means this picture is old. Also, right next to that watermark, did you notice Greg Minnaar staring up and wondering why Nico Vink has so much more fun riding his bike than he does?





ANOTHER REASON!

It rains everyday in Europe. Sometimes a cloud moves in on top of a rain storm and starts raining on the rain. One time it didn't rain and everybody freaked out and that's how WW2 started. Nico is probably stoked out of his mind to be some place sunny where it doesn't suck and where beers don't cost $15, and don't even get me started about the freedom. There's a lot more of it here. Plus you've got to remember, this is his first time at RAMPAGE!!! so he probably thinks it's a mortal combat, fight for your freedom, single-elimination melee tournament like in Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damme, and he is literally riding for his life. JCVD is from Belgium, so he probably told Nico what the deal was before Nico's flight to the U.S.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Shaving weight on stanchions is cool and all...


RAMPAGE!!!


.

Downhill bikes and RAMPAGE!!!



Speaking of RAMPAGE!!! expect to see a lot of downhill bikes a lot of bottomed out a lot of very soon. A warning: the geometry changes a little after you punch through a combined 16 inches of travel.


RAMPAGE!!!

RAMPAGE!!



Gotta make sure everything's dialed for RAMPAGE!!




Thrillium Enduro DH race


I still haven't gotten around to doing a Norway write up and that race was... uhhh... kind of a big deal. But here's the thing: it's really hard to write a no BS race writeup. Without the BS, 90% of all race writeups would be:

"I drove to the middle of nowhere to (insert random ski area or riding spot) and listened to a bunch of crappy radio stations on the way because my CD player is broken in my car. When I got there I rode my bike a bunch and when I wasn't riding I was either hiding from people or smiling and shaking people's hands. Whether I was hiding or shaking people's hands I was either thinking about one of three things:


  1. Winning the race
  2. How unprepared I am, damn it
  3. I'm hungry

Then I raced and it either sucked or it didn't and then I ate a ton of crappy food at some fast food place on the way home to celebrate/medicate after my big win/devastating loss. At some point I met up with a bunch of people I don't see enough and we all said 'Man, we should ride more often.'"



So anyway, here's a writeup I did for last weekend's race at Thrillium with all the good BS to make people feel the stoke and share the ride and and feed off the vibe and get pumped and stuff. Yeah, a little bit of my soul dies whenever I have to share "feelings" and crap like that, but hey man, you gotta sell out to eat out. Hate me later:


It was a great weekend out at the Cold Creek trails in SW Washington, and a really successful fundraiser for the Cold Creek Mountain Bikers. The Cold Creek Mountain Bikers have been working with various Federal, State, and local agencies for over 10 years to create the riding area that is there today. There are super long epic trail bike descents, XC trails, and the infamous Thrillium, a super fast-paced, jump and berm filled DH run that lasts over 6 minutes.




It turned out to be a great event for riders of all ages, and it showed me that the mountain biking community in SW Washington is one big family. Everyone camped at the venue Saturday night, and the night was filled with the sounds and smells of grills, brews, and stories.






Race day: With the dusty, loose conditions leaving huge holes in turns and a long pedaling section in the middle, the race was a test of rider's skill and fitness. I recently put flat pedals back on my Diamondback Mission Pro earlier that weekend, and I was having more fun riding my trail bike than I have in a long time. Just for fun I opted to run my Mission trail bike instead of my DB Syncline DH bike, and it ended up being a good choice. The race format was a combined time based on three runs, so the trick was to pedal hard and stay consistent. My Mission pedals like a champ, so I was ready to tear it up.



My three runs were really fun, except for the fact I thought I might die from pedaling before the end of my last run. In the end, consistency won the day. I chose to run heavier duty downhill tires and tubes to avoid flatting, and my three lap times were 6:33, 6:34, and 6:36. My buddy Alex ran XC tires and flatted in his first run, putting him out of contention, but that didn't stop him from putting down a blistering time of 6:23 and another lap at 6:25. I won the day with a combined time 1 minute up on second place.





I was really glad I made it out to the race, and I'll be back next year for sure. Plus, it was sponsored by the guys at Ninkasi, so how can you go wrong?







Photos are courtesy of Ruandy Albisurez at http://www.ralbisurezphotography.com/

The whole thing was put on by the Cold Creek Mountain Bikers, so be sure to saythanks to these guys next time you ride Thrillium!