Sorry to say it, but that's straight up amateur hour on the number plate on the part of Team REDBULL HELMETS PLUS DISAPPOINTING OLDER BROTHER AND THAT OTHER GUY THAT'S NOT RELATED WHO'S SHORTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. That's their official UCI trade team name, you probably just know them as "Atherton racing."
Number plates do not, ever, get fastened to handlebars when you are running a dual crown fork. And I'm not making this up, it's right there in the rule book, right next to "thou shalt run a visor" and "thou shalt not lipskid." I think most people figure out basic number plate technique right about the same time they figure out what the brake and shift levers on your handlebars do.
Not like this:
Like this:
Plus, here's an inside tip, G-money. In addition to proper plate positioning, I really like the number plate featured in this photo a lot more. Next time you get to pick, you should pick the "number 1" plate instead of the "number 3" plate. It's an easier number to remember, and it looks a lot more visually clean in photos.
I wasn't referring to this video a couple days ago when I flipped out about Exaggerated Turning Technique #2, the freeride flick, but you guys keep sending me links, so here goes.
The pity with this video is that the ETT is so unnecessary. It ads nothing to what would otherwise be a stellar video. Oh, you were hurt and you're back on the bike? Sweet. You can manual through anything on your big bike? Awesome. You can rip corners, haul ass, and crank a whip off a huge step up right after getting off the couch? Nice. On top of all that, you get paid to do all that stuff? Pretty dialed set up you have yourself there, Mr. Agassiz.
So I have to ask, do you really have anything left to prove? Why do you feel the need to do a superfluous, shitty little kick out whenever your eyeballs land on a trailside pile of barkdust?
Doing a loose bark chip kick out is the cornering equivalent of doing a one-hander on a jump:
One handers and Canadian Kickouts:
When you learn how to do it, you know you're the shit. Like, paychecks are coming any day now, and you're going to have to find some extra space to store those piles of money. Romney never had "binders of women" compared to the tail you're gonna be pulling now that you mastered this maneuver and transcended from common bike riding into the realm of high art. Now suddenly it's your go to move; wherever there's a person that doubts your awesomeness, your rebuttal is simple- "Oh, maybe you didn't notice I'm the boss..." until KA POW! you blow their fucking mind with your incredible demonstration of gratuitous bike skill and personal extremitude.
A one hander master, letting the dimes just roll in.
But just like the one hander, whoever learns the Canadian kickout quickly realizes that anyone with a rear brake or a moderate sense of balance can do one. Yeah sport, I know you thought you were the only one who knew that overturning and throwing your hips makes dust fly, but pretty much everyone that can get down Crank It Up has that move on lock, too.
So, Graham, pretty much everyone that can tie their shoes can do your cute little kick out, but can you think of anything you bring to the table that the average rider can't do? Things that, alternatively, might differentiate you from the rest of the pack and help make you and your riding more impressive and memorable.
Like, can you think of anything you do that's mind blowing, seemingly impossible, or would make any viewer shit their pants just looking at?
No, I can't think of anything, either. Nothing comes to mind right away, any how.
I watched half this video at school, scrolled down and read a crappy comment, and I was actually going to post the video to defend these guys, but... then I sat down at home and watched the rest of it up until 1:49. I turned that shit off and walked away.
I was really enjoying their little video (on mute of course, that music is God awful), remembering when I was a scrappy teenager and had a clapped out bike, and we went out into the woods with a Sony handy cam we borrowed from my friend's mom to make crappy videos, and all that nostalgic shit, but then at 1:49 I saw a tag-team skid-turn train and I dropped that shit like it was hot.
A public service announcement: if you freeride flick, I will turn your video off. That goes for you, too, Semenuk and Agassiz, you're not above this. In fact, there's a pretty good chance you two SUPER PRO Canuckistanians are the reason little kids are learning this awful behavior at all.
And make no mistake: free ride flicks are a gateway drug to other horrible behaviors, like being Canadian, talking about brown pow and soul, or using clique Instagram-esque filters on your videos.
When you do skid turns you probably think you look like this:
This video's pretty solid, but it auto plays so if you want to watch a guy shotgun a beer during a board slide you're gonna need to follow the link: http://vimeo.com/44598690# Third time's the charm, skateboard bro, way to stick with it. Innovation.
Yo dog, check this new Hopkins vid it's TIGHT!!! Yo, man, check it, whenever I watch these vids I'm all "when we movin to Canada, dog?" They're so chill up there, it's just straight boostin senders and gettin steezy, and that loam is OFF THE HOOK!! We gotta get some seshes goin on up there this summer man, like we gotta do a B.C. roadtrip, no joke. We're gonna make it happen this year, know what I'm sayin? It'd be so epic to shred with the bros up in Rossland. More like BOSSland, am I right? Snap, Imma lose my mind when we get to sample some of that brown POW! PEACE!
Anyone who posts another picture from Top of the World.
This trail is on its way to becoming the most tired cliche in mountain biking. Worse than Nevegals on complete bikes, acronyms for suspension linkages, or Kamloops sunset huck photos in the "Buzz" section in Bike.
