Still on the KILL LIST: freeriders

 

Dylan Sherrard in Kamloops demonstrating how not to turn.

 

 

 

This doesn't even qualify as ETT. He's literally not turning, he's just stopping. Instead of taking his momentum and changing vectors, aka turning, he's taken all his momentum and plowed squarely into the top of this shitty made-for-photos dust-pile berm. This maneuver is less a form of turning, and is more akin to dumping the parachute on a drag car.

 

One of my favorite things about this photo is that you can tell no one even rides this berm. The whole face of the berm is pock-marked and has roots hanging out of it. Dollars to donuts, the only part of that berm that gets ridden by normal people (those not trying to shoot a bro-bra brownpow Dakine/Navajo Indian Quilt Collab photo) is the first 6 inches.

 

 

Possibility A: The turn is pretty much over after the stump, making this mother of all freeride-flicks the worst line ever. The smart money is to stay low where it's hard packed, and not get bogged down in the soft bullshit. If enough people ride this line, it will probably firm up and rut out, making it even faster. Another fun bonus: if the turn does end after the stump, whoever built this berm also sucks and did 10 times too much work.

 

Possibility B: Maybe I'm wrong, and this turn keeps going for another 90 degrees after the stump. Congratulations, this still qualifies as the worst line ever. He's going to be at a dead stop and then have 2/3 of the turn left. Also, if there's more turn than we can see in the photo, then the big tall berm is very necessary, and Mr. Sherrard just nuked the hot line for everyone else. Sweet.

 

 

 

Maybe that's just what you get when you build your trails out of a proprietary Kamloops-only blend of sawdust, flour, and pocket lint. We had moles at our trails that dug holes in the lips and landings, maybe in Kamloops you just have to deal with migratory freeriders that chainsaw your berms a couple times a season.

 

 

 

Freeriders hover near the top of the KILL LIST, not just for riding badly and doing Quazimodo "shoulder buzzers," but also for encouraging this sort of behavior. Whether it looks stupid or not, it *might* be cool for you to do this stuff on your own trails that you built, or maybe you're tight bros with the super chill homie who builds the berms you ruin, but that's not the case for 99% of the kids out there who grab Dad's Go-Pro and drive to someone else's spot so they can freeride flick their way to internet stardom.

 

Freeriders: KILL LIST.