METAL MONDAY!

BREAKING NEWS!!! from TEAM ROBOT

Next year is going to suck too.

BREAKING NEWS!!! from TEAM ROBOT

The Sun Ringle Doublewide gets a new lease on life, this time in carbon.

In a related story, Australian company Bouwmeester releases innovative new solid-profile carbon rim. When reached for comment, industry experts believed the rim's solid-profile "may allow the rim to buck the trend of expensive carbon rims cracking when they look at or are in the general proximity of rocks."

When pressed, industry experts also added the subsequent qualification, "but probably not."

TEAM ROBOT shovel fund

IMBA was here.

In our latest IMBA rant in a long, colorful list of IMBA hate-filled rants, we proposed that the IMBA adopt a newer, more honest mission statement going forward.

IMBA: More access is probably better hopefully, but less would be okay too, as long as it isn't too much less, please.



Trivial posted this idea in our comments section, and it got us thinking:

"If that bumper sticker was made and sold by Team Robot, I would purchase several under the condition that profits generated by sticker sales would go to a shovel fund and that once sufficient, shovels would be purchased by Team Robot so that they may dig 400+ feet of single slalom trail into a hillside somewhere, with or without authorization, specifically for bicycle use. That would be bicycle advocacy in action that I would get behind. Results."



That sounded like such a good idea that we now have new stickers for sale on the web store. Check it out:

Web store link: http://teamrobot.bigcartel.com/

Every sticker sold goes towards the TEAM ROBOT shovel fund. Stickers are six bucks, and every $6 sticker purchased will go directly towards my preferred tool of choice, the $6 Eagle round tip wood handle shovel from Home Depot, which will promptly be used to turn soil and make cool stuff for bikes.

The Eagle Round Tip 44" Wood Handle #2 shovel

There's a long list of other tools we and the other dudes use to build trails, like handsaws, buckets, digging bars, rakes, and chainsaws, but I like shovels. Shovels move dirt. Dirt makes jumps. Jumps are cool. This is the TEAM ROBOT shovel fund.

We also like the shovel because it's the trail-building tool IMBA affiliates are least-likely to use.

This berm brought to you by the Eagle Round Tip 44" Wood Handle #2 shovel.

If we actually sell more than 10 of these stickers, 10 being the absolute upper limit on our personal need for #2 shovels and coincidentally our rosiest projection for sticker sales, the goal is to use these funds to support all the other awesome trail builders we know- Brad, Jim, Phil, Todd, Ryan, Kirt, Scott, Petr... all the guys. Each trail builder gets the shovel of his choosing, because we're realistic and we know the Eagle Round Tip doesn't always hold up in other, rockier climates. Most importantly, none of this money will ever go towards an IMBA-style machine built sidewalk trail.


If you believe the IMBA sucks- and it does- help us make mountain biking suck less. I'll keep you posted on all shovel acquisitions and transfers.

Win or lose, hit the booze

http://m.bikemag.com/news/wilderness-bill-gives-rare-access-mountain-bikers/

The IMBA thinks this is a big win:

"Together, they negotiated a deal whereby a section of less than a mile of trail that travels through the nearby Wheeler Peak Wilderness, interrupting a popular high-alpine singletrack near the town of Red River, would be opened to mountain bikers if they backed the Act to fully protect the study area."



Even though it includes this little caveat:

"Taos-area mountain bikers for three decades had been riding the 75 miles of trails in the Columbine-Hondo Wilderness Study Area. According to Pickett, the rules in a study area are grayer than those dubbed ‘wilderness’ and the Forest Service historically didn’t manage that 45,000 acres in a way that prohibited mountain biking, so it was a common place to ride. With the new wilderness designation, riding there is strictly off-limits."


This is a win in the eyes of IMBA: giving up 75 miles of trail in Taos to gain access to less than a mile in Red River. Great. At that rate we should lose all mountain bike trails in the country, and then gain 100 miles of new trail, which would give us 2 whole miles of trail per state. Awesome!


I know, I know, it sounds bad, but listen, we're at the table now. That means something. They're listening to us:

“It puts us at the table with this wilderness alliance. Before they didn’t want anything to do with us… Now we’re a member, we’re considered a member of the alliance and anything they do down the road, we have a say.”

An actual picture of IMBA at the table.

So now, instead of just taking away trail like they did in the '84 Wilderness Act expansion, now land managers, bureaucrats, and Congress will invite IMBA "to the table," give IMBA a tiny insignificant carrot, and then take away all the same trails they planned on taking away anyway.

It's the idiot test. If someone lowballs you in a negotiation, and you always take the lowball offer, then guess what? You failed the idiot test, and they're always going to lowball you. Why would someone give IMBA prime rib, or even a whole piece of bread, if IMBA is willing to eat whatever scraps are left under the table.

Look at how pitifully low IMBA's stated goals are for Wilderness expansion:

• IMBA is not advocating the introduction of mountain bikes in existing designated Wilderness areas. 
• IMBA values the role the 1964 Wilderness Act has had in protecting wild places. IMBA believes that additional Wilderness designations are warranted and will support these when appropriate.
• Bicyclists must be at the table when Wilderness decisions are being made. 
• IMBA is committed to protecting wildlands and open space while allowing for appropriate bicycle access.

GRRRRR!!!! Reading those talking points, you can almost hear IMBA getting their teeth out like a rabid tiger.

Pussy.

Will IMBA or any MTB advocacy group ever say no to any offer, no matter how insulting and low?

No.


Will IMBA ever demand, ask for, or even define what most mountain bikers actually want?

No.



My favorite thing is that in the original article [posted here, IMBA's glowing press release can be seen here], no one talks about whether or not mountain bikes belong on the 75 miles of trail in the study area. Sure, mountain bikes were allowed on those 75 miles of trails for years and years and apparently the forest didn't burn down and the bears and flowers didn't die off, but if the Sierra Club wants to close that 75 miles off to mountain bikers forever, that seems reasonable. No argument. No discussion of the existing trail network, traffic rates, or how different user groups have coexisted on the trails over the past decade or so. Nope, if Sierra Club thinks the trails need to be "protected" from mountain bikes, then they must be right.


Mountain bikers in general, but IMBA especially, don't view advocacy as negotiation, they view it as begging. Begging for whatever they can get, with no strong vision of success, only the vague notion that more access is probably better hopefully, but less would be okay too as long as it isn't too much less, please. That could be a bumper sticker or a poster:

IMBA: More access is probably better hopefully, but less would be okay too, as long as it isn't too much less, please.

BREAKING NEWS!!! from TEAM ROBOT

Transition Bikes rider Lars Sternberg sidelined for 2015 season with third-degree groin injury sustained in company photo shoot.


TEAM ROBOT caught up with Lars over a bite to hear the latest on his injury:

"Yeah, it's brutal. This groin injury, it sucks. You know, you practice and practice to get ready for the shot, I knew that splitze was a big move, but one missed spot on the ice by the Zamboni driver and BAM! Game over, zero margin for error. Yeah, it's a huge blow to my enduro career. I've been talking a lot to friends and family about what direction to take after this injury, and my good friend Richie Schley had a lot of helpful words of wisdom. He's a guy who's been here. After talking with Richie, I think I should be able to schleyble top and skid my way into paychecks for another decade or so, racing or no."

Out riding

Be back soon losers. 

The Rise of Enduro

Please go to Pinkbike today and watch the Rise of Enduro. Watch the whole thing. Trust me. Watch the entire thing.

We did.

Proper Form

To carry maximum speed out of berms, you're going to want to take your inside foot off and turn your shoulders and head to the outside and behind you.