Shoes

Yeah, it's cool and all that Mike and Darrin from Fox get to go to South Africa for World Champs, but I didn't even notice where this photo was taken or who was in it for a good five minutes because I was so fascinated/disgusted/confused/sad/angry when I saw that Greg Minnaar's quest to be a fashion icon led him to:

1. V-necks
2. Jean shirts
3. Popped collars
4. The sunglasses in the shirt thing
5. Wearing his freaking shoes untied


I'm still going have to give the style nod to Mike for the crocs and fishing hat combo.

Unrideable

http://www.vitalmtb.com/product/feature/Sneak-Peek-2014-Rose-The-Unchained-DH-Bike,198

Seriously, what do they think they're bringing to the table. The design looks like it was borrowed from a 2004 Transition Gran Mal. The only good thing you can say about that bike is that it lived up to it's name: big and bad. Besides the fact that "Rose" is simply not an acceptable name for a bike company or that starting a product name with an article, a la "The Unchained," is marketing set to full retard, why would a company even waste the money making a new downhill frame if the technology is five (or ten) years outdated? The shock is positioned high in the frame, the rear triangle looks about as stiff as string cheese and the cable routing by the BB looks like it was drawn up by Chef Boyardee.

Oh, but you're offering a "super light build kit" that comes in with a claimed weight of 32 pounds. Cool, I thought it was just an ill-conceived turd of a bike, but apparently it's a really light ill-conceived turd of a bike. With single ply tires. Sweet.

Which always leads me to wonder: who is going to buy this shitty, bizarre, outdated, scary looking frame from a previously unheard of brand?

Sounds like a job for the Germans. If you're selling a restickered, outdated piece of cycling garbage, they're you're guys. They're like the last branch of a tree that catches inferior bike companies right before they hit the harsh ground of reality. If you can just get your product into German markets and throw an aged and(or) irrelevant athlete from North America on it, you'll be able to stay in the black for another five years easy.

There's three things they like in Germany: dry sandwiches, David Hasselhoff, and shitty full suspension frames from sketchy unoriginal bike companies. Germany is for bikes what Japan was for rock musicians from the 80's: years after the glory has faded, you can still eek years or even decades more life out of tired ideas that the rest of the world got smart on and kicked to the curb.



Schley knows where his bread gets buttered. He's in talks with Rose Bikes as we speak.

Still one of the best things on the internet.

Because this video is 10 minutes long, it's easy to track how much time I've wasted watching it:

Fifty minutes.

Webstore

The webstore is up and running, so now if you put in an order you will actually receive a shirt. So that's pretty cool.

Wilson crushes it

This screen capture is the best thing you'll see all day, guaranteed:

 

If you don't know who Jon Wilson is then kill yourself now. Other folks you may know who were at this race in 98 include Filip Polc, Vic Sandrin, Lee McCormack, Cam and Howie Zink. Wild. This is also proof positive that Vic did go to at least one of those really really old races he talks about all the time.

Read more and learn yourself up on Wilson here: http://ridetothehills.wordpress.com/history-mountain-bike-memories/


In 2008 TEAM ROBOT road tripped down to Angel Fire with the plan of camping at 9,000 feet. We brought one tent and no warm clothes and it was 25 degrees and snowed, so Wilson and Casey Coffman let us crash at their condo. Wilson was sitting on the couch flipping through channels with his shirt off and one hand just chilling in his pants, when he landed on the Disney Channel. We were all wiped from travel and practice and didn't really give two shits what we were watching, so all five of us watched Hannah Montana for 30 seconds in complete silence, until Wilson shifted on the sofa and said, "man, this stuff makes me want to rape again." Apparently my 19-year old self was so horrified and(or) confused that I just got up and walked upstairs in shocked silence. The point of that story is that Wilson is better than you and has been beating Mark Weir since before your balls dropped.

How many slides is too many?

EXCLUSIVE & In Depth: First Ride on the DVO Emerald Fork & Jade Shock — More Mountain Bike Photos

Forty Four.

 

 

 

 

Prediction:

"Dura Ace is already 11 speed. Not too hard to read the tea leaves and predict 11 speed XTR, only Shimano will do it on a normal freehub so it doesn't suck. 

That's just a guesstimate and I didn't hear that from any little birdies, but if you think SRAM is the only company that can do a wiiiide ratio cassette you're tripping.

Plus seriously why is there not a top guide on XX.1. WTF."

You can read about this and other predictions in the upcoming coffee table book "101 more reasons why Chaz will never get sponsored by SRAM."

METAL MONDAY!

Travel technique

Your team:

Team Robot: