Tuesday, November 30, 2010

More sick trails

Another Trendy Slow Motion Video: Solstice from Tyler Deschaine on Vimeo.

These are just outside of Portland in Clackamas, across the river. Sick! More trails to get stoked on.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving: not a religious event

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

G. Washington

Clearly not a religious holiday.

Four Videos Four Loko

Summer with Matt Priest from Johnny Elia on Vimeo.

That's right, the last clip has Walker, Gary Busey, a Federal Witness with down syndrome, and six, count em six, round house kicks to polish Gary off. Perfection is what I think we call that.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Old frame headed out/Guy Marsh headed up/Danny Hart going fast

My XL evil faction is for sale over on pinkbike if anyone's interested. Sweet frame, two big thumbs up. I thought I wouldn't be said to see her go, but it hurts just a little on the inside.

Cory Tepper clicked this absolute banger of Guy Marsh. SO sick. Perfect trails shot. Perfect.

Danny Hart can turn really, really well.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Trebuchet for sale

I'm finally selling the trebuchet. $1000 if you are interested. Here's the link:


Gallon challenge

I went on to facebook today. That's right, I have a Facebook account. I had not been on in about 6 months, maybe a year? I was shocked and amused to discover I had 240 outstanding friend requests.

While I was there, I found a photo album from 2008 on a friend's account titled, "Gallon challenge." I never knew these photos existed. So pumped.

Earlier in the day we purchased this couch for $1.00 at value village. We split the purchase four ways, and I am still a 25% shareholder. I have no idea why on earth I didn't buy that shirt, though.

Later in the night we found our way to Winco, the site of many of our gallon challenge attempts. This was probably attempt #5 or so. By now we had learned to use food coloring to differentiate between different people's gallons. For this particular attempt we had sixteen participants.

Lots of cute colors.

As usual, I failed. But I came so close. Check out how little pastel yellow dairy product is left in my gallon. So close. That was a good pair of shoes before I vomited on them.That night, no one succeeded. On the bright side, we made the boring Winco parking a lot more colorful.

Mondraker bikes

Is this head angle really necessary?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Long distance digging

We've been refining the art of digging at the trails. It's an imperfect science, but we're really excited about our newest technique: Long Distance Digging.

It's super efficient.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ma shoe sets

The above video clearly proves my theory: Germans love David Hasselhoff.


I have no idea what this is, but I like it:


I'm not sure what this whole "basketball" thing is they keep referring to, but whoever this Kevin Durant guy is, he's got vans figured out:

Friday, November 12, 2010

Raining death

I think I've already put up this gatling gun/helicopter video, and I've definitely put up slayer before and asked you to watch a video with it. But this time is different. This time IT WILL MELT YOUR FACE OFF.

Turn on slayer, and then enjoy this orgy of raining lead and fire:

If you can picture what it would look like to be on the receiving end of that weapon, you can imagine some really, really ugly looking stuff.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

29er downhill bikes

I've talked about 29er bikes before, but today I'll let this video do the talking:

Yes, that's right. Intense Cycles, maker of some of the coolest, smartest, most badass bikes ever is now responsible for this contraption:

I'm really pissed now. I'll do the talking from here. Tell me with a straight face that a 29 inch tire with exxxxxtra long spokes could put up with this sort of abuse:

It's just retarded. Maybe this would work if the trails you ride are dead straight.

But maybe if I learned to enjoy ripping my rear tire off the rim every single time I hit a berm then I would be pumped on it. I'm sorry, but rear wheels are already exactly as weak I can tolerate, before making them 3 inches bigger.

Oh, they thought about that you say? Intense also made a 26 rear/29 front bike?

Cool, I don't know why I never thought of that. Apparently making the ride characteristics of a bike totally unbalanced is better? This is such a breakthrough. While we're at it, let's also try:

1. cutting an extra 3 inches off of one side of the handlebar

2. turning off all suspension adjustments on either the front or rear shock

3. running radically different tire pressures and tread patterns front and rear

4. running clips on one foot and flats on the other

There are so many options!

Other thoughts:

The same gearqueers running DH bikes with XC rims and alloy nipples, $4 bladed spokes, and running tubeless no matter how many flats they get are likely to be the same gearqueers who want to be on the cutting edge of this 29er DH fad.

Do you realize how much more weight AND inertia a 29 inch wheel has? If you were worried about the weight difference between double-butted and straight gauge spokes, let me put this in perspective. A 29er wheel is going to weigh about 30 spokes more than a 26 wheel.

That means that after all the times I've had to listen to your retarded ass explain the performance advantages of a lighter rim strip, you are going to throw all of those "critical" advantages away, and make your wheels 20% heavier? AND have more leverage acting against that weight?

You suck.

Also, this is pretty much what I think of all 29er riders everywhere:

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Friday, November 5, 2010

Honesty is the best policy.

Parents these days want to shield their kids from the harsh realities of life, coddling them and guarding their precious little feelings. Teachers don't grade with red pens anymore; it's purple now. Humans are breeding a whole generation of softies, easily crushed into submission by their robotic overlords.

That's why this video is so refreshing: