Chris Akrigg is better than you, and so am I

The good part starts at 2:28.





P.S. It was my birthday on Tuesday. Watch this movie and your dreams will become nightmares after your thoughts are unceasingly haunted by this guy and by the singing of the children whose souls he has stolen:

everything we hate!

dear guy in video ..... killyourself!
-Patrick


If you buy a 36 inch wheeled mountain bike and pedal it up stairs to impress other people, and you want to make sure you absolutely, never, ever get laid, make sure to go the extra mile and roll BOTH pant legs up to capri length.
-Chaz

Justice

That's what you get for riding that silly ass bike.






This is what your bike looks like to you:










And this is what your bike looks like to everyone else:






Go buy some brakes.

Happy Valentine's day

Remember, the only constant in all your failed relationships has been you.





C Grade Hater:





B Grade Hater:





Grade A Hater:


HATEHATEHATEHATE






I was reading the school newspaper, which is predictably awful, but today they got it right. When I read this article, I was trying to remember if I submitted it or not. I didn't, but as I read, it was obvious that they took a couple pages straight outta the TEAM ROBOT play book, and then translated them from binary:



IMPORTANT THINGS FOR SINGLES TO REMEMBER ON VALENTINE'S DAY:


Nobody loves you.

Nobody has ever loved you.

Nobody will ever love you.

You're most likely single because you're not good looking.

You did this to yourself through your inability to change for others.

Stop pretending that you're joyful or content. You're alone and you hate yourself. Lying doesn't suit you.


All those couples that look happy actually are. In fact, they're usually even happier.

Either way, it's better to be miserable and in a relationship than happy and single. That's just life, I don't make the rules.

Friendships don't count. If they did, they'd have a holiday too, wouldn't they?

You should probably kill yourself. Or get a dog. Whichever's easiest.








By the way it's my birthday today, so I'm automatically having way more fun than you right now.

WARNING! from TEAM ROBOT

Everyone's favorite dictator

Kim Jong Il clearly read up on the robot apolocalypse, because he borrowed a lot of our techniques for people management, namely the death and terror parts. He's got a great smile, an his death put a lot of propaganda painters out of work:









































I realize that every other blog did their Kim Jong Il posts, like, forever ago, and that this puts us way off the back. We're okay with that, because Team Robot is right at home in last place.

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-Chaz

Exaggerated Turning Technique

How not to turn for going fast.

METAL MONDAY!

Robots/CIA collaborate to keep tabs on you