Friday, July 29, 2011

Team Robot:: Best in the country in the world

Quick dialogue from this video from Crankworx Slalom:

Announcer Brett Tippie to DBBL55 (Douche Bag Brian Lopes 55)

"So Brian, how do you feel about this contest?"


"Well first of all, Brett, this is not a contest. This is a race."

Well DBBL55, here's what my buddies Merriam and Webster had to say about your little english lesson up at Crankworx:

noun \ˈkän-ˌtest\
Definition of CONTEST
1: a struggle for superiority or victory : competition
2: a competition in which each contestant performs without direct contact with or interference from competitors

Well now, I'm not exactly a genius, but I tend to think when two people in separate lanes race each other head to head from a fixed start line to a fixed finish line to determine the victor, that's pretty much a contest.

See DBBL, the thing is, it's a bike race AND it's a contest. It can actually be both. See, DBBL, not all contests are races, but all races are contests. It's kind of like squares and rectangles.

While it's true that not ALL rectangles are squares, it is also true that all squares are rectangles. I know, it can be hard to keep track of all these details.

Also, if you really want to be specific DBBL55, Crankworx Dual Slalom wasn't just a race. It was a bike race. Here's what Merriam and Wesbter had to say about that:

bike race
noun \ˈbīk\ \ˈrās\
Definition of BIKE RACE
1, A contest where a bunch of people come together to have fun and hang out. Typically, racing also occurs.
2. A contest that is totally less important and noteworthy than a real race like Lemans, the Kentucky Derby, or even NASCAR.
3. A contest where none of the participants will ever be well known by the general public or make significant money unless their name is Lance Armstrong.
4. A contest where no one really gives a shit except the participants.

So, DBBL55, Dr. Robot recommends you take several doses of a very effective, experimental medicine that I have been recommending to many of my patients:

Just kidding, Dr. Robot only prescribes one orally-ingested medication to humans:

Fun tip: To do a killer Brian Lopes imitation, plug your nose and then talk about how you and Peaty go way back.

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