Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sick/sickening

MTB "unturndowns" suck. This is a scientifically documented fact.

I don't know why I have to explain this. It should be obvious. So just to be clear, I'll use the exact same rider, same day, and same jump to explain this concept as clearly as possible:



This is sick:






This is sickening:



Please note: Guy French is a sick rider from the Aptos area. He builds and shreds at the post office regularly.

Please also note: that does not change the fact that it still looks really dumb when Guy French or anyone else does an "MTB unturndown."





In a real turndown, the cranks are level as the rider cranks the trick. Because of the increased size of a mountain bike, keeping the cranks level in a turndown or an unturndown is harder to do. So instead of either:

A) working a little harder and learning how to do it right

OR

B) showing a little respect/deference/restraint and just not doing shit that is over your head


Mountain bikers have collectively decided to just drop that inside crank, take that outside foot off, and give it a real B effort. The result is a real B-grade "trick." But instead of honoring their new, shitty trick with a new, shitty name, like a "shoulder-buzzer," they will typically refer to it as an unturndown.

Like this:



This one also sucks:





Just to review, this is what an actual unturndown looks like. Note that both his feet are still glued to the pedals, his cranks are dead level, and that he is folded over like a taco trying to click that:


Also, if we want to get picky here, note that the rider in the BMX picture is OVER-turning his bars, making the unturndown even more clicked. If you go back and look, every single picture of Guy French has his bars under-turned, making it look less clicked. This is so he doesn't buzz his shoulder, which kind of kills the term "shoulder buzzer" dead in the water.


Anything less is just taking an ugly one footed invert and turning it into an unfortunate mtb fad.


Between mountain bikers shitty tricks and our desire to run Kenda Small Blocks Eights (the worst skid-massacre tire ever) at BMX trails, it's a wonder BMXers ever let us ride their stuff.

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