Thursday, April 3, 2014

Guido used to race. That counts, right?


http://www.pinkbike.com/news/sr-suntours-gravity-ambassadors-introduction-2014.html

SR Suntour just released their 2014 lineup of "Gravity ambassadors," which I think is a fancy way to say "athletes" or "team." I'm not sure, because these "ambassadors" come from many regions all over the globe and it's alternatively possible that in addition to racing these ambassadors will be engaged in direct diplomacy with other sovereign nations on behalf of SR Suntour.


Maybe the Gravity Ambassadors also get those little flags you put on the front of your car. Oooh, oooh, and diplomatic immunity, too, so you can kill people and get away with it. That would be awesome.

Diplomacy or not, there are still exactly zero racers or race teams on the list. Freeriders have two requirements for suspension: it goes up and down, and it doesn't kill them. While I grant you that real suspension performance is required to do the things James Doerfling does on a daily basis, I would also say that the binary feedback of "it killed me" or "it didn't kill me" isn't much to go off of in terms of product development.


"I think it needs a touch more low speed, it was wallowing a little through the medium bumps."


Eric Carter is still racing, but he ruled himself out years ago. Do you remember that Fontana bike check on Vital a couple years back when he was still on GT, and he said he always runs 45 psi front and rear?



45 psi front and rear indicates that you either:

A) Live in Socal

B) Live in another universe where 45 psi in a front tire would do anything other than rattle your fillings loose and knock you off any line you would ever want to hold

C) Weigh 450 pounds and 45 psi is equivalent to the 25-30psi most of us run.



A visual representation of a downhill run with 45psi in a dual-ply front tire.


If you are a racer and you can run 45 psi in the front tire of your downhill bike and can still win, more power to you. Give that guy an extra medal, heck just give him the medals you were going to give second and third place because they got smoked by some guy riding a steel drum for a front wheel. On the other hand, if you're a test rider and run 45 psi in the front tire of your downhill bike, I will be religiously avoiding the products you provide feedback for.

So that leaves you with Guido Schugg who doesn't race anymore, and this guy:


Things he's got going for him as a test rider:

  1. Actually wins races, and is competitive at the highest level.
  2. French.
  3. Doesn't ride for a bunch of joke companies.
  4. Has a name I can't remember how to spell. Remi? Remy? And is it Absalom or Absalon? Some of the best test pilots in the world have names I can't spell or pronounce: Volliouzz, Spangolo, Barrel. Correlation or causation? I don't know. Those guys are also all French.

But Remy Absalon only races Enduro, so downhillers are still in the dark. Suntour Rux? More like, ha, this is super funny, are you ready for it?


Suntour Sux*. Get it?



*These opinions included in this editorial are the personal opinions of the sole writer of this piece and do not represent the official opinions of TEAM ROBOT, LLC or the opinions of TEAM ROBOT's corporate partners.  Charlie Sponsel, the writer of this editorial, has never ridden, held, touched, pushed up and down on, talked at length about, or been in direct proximity with a Suntour Rux fork. Any similarities to an actual product test or product review are purely coincidental and do not result from an actual understanding of or experience with the product. All representatives from SR Suntour seeking to resolve a grievance against TEAM ROBOT, LLC or by members of TEAM ROBOT, LLC, specifically Charlie Sponsel, to ensure future positive public exposure** on TEAM ROBOT for SR Suntour and its products can mail SR Suntour product and sponsorship checks totaling no less than $5000 per year to:

Charlie's parents' house
13040 Grouse Terrace
Lake Oswego, OR 97045



**During his employment by SR Suntour*** Charlie Sponsel reserves the right to make fun of Canadians, freeriders, Euros, and(or) old washed up riders, including but not limited to Ryan Berrecloth, Garrett Buehler, James Doerfling, Mike Jones, Mark Matthews, Eric Carter, Mike Hopkins, Bobby McMullen, Garrett Robertson, Aurelie Tournier, Guido Schugg, Brett Tippie, Chris Van Dine, Tobias Woggen, and (or) Remy Absalon.



***During his employment by SR Suntour Charlie Sponsel also reserves the right to run the suspension units of his choice****



****Specifically Fox suspension units

8 comments:

Ben Furbee said...

*Charlie Sponse's Appartment

Anonymous said...

TIPPIE > YOU

Anonymous said...

If that's a real address, don't be surprised to find Lopes blocking the driveway while 'hashtagging' a #training selfie or some other nonsense...

I read an old post, either here or on Trivial, about bike parks being too groomed, boring/easy, etc. If you want aggravatingly but necessarily caps-locked STEEP, completely unregulated downhill, ride the 'bike parks' in South America. The best trails are always hidden and clearly lack a chairlift, but the lift riding here is about as far from the PNW as possible. Urban races get the media attention because they're obviously suicidal, but the mountains aren't a complete joke either.

No idea why I'm posting this here, or at all. Trivial and Robot are the same people, right? Charlie? That is probably all I meant to type. Regardless, it's usually fun to read some mtb 'hate' from someone who clearly doesn't take the sport too seriously. I'll be ANXIOUSLY staring at the screen to find out whether you reply with jest or jabs.

Coach Pete said...

Why did the guy from drunk cyclist want one of those t-shirts ? Did he need a new rag for washing his car or something??

Anonymous said...

If you know so much about shocks why do you ride a seizure-prone design yourself? Don't worry, you'll be on some some inverted's within a few years.

If racers know so much about shocks why did believer-boy Gwinny not like the prototype upside down Fox 40? Because he's umm....dumb. What racer from socal isn't dumb? Or at least a D bag? There is your next article to write while at Weak Otter for the big 'enduro' debut.

I've been doing some research on rootsandrain. Do you how many Canadian Freeriders have a better World Cup qualification percentage than you?





Flatbills 4 Lyfe said...

Is this that sad tire stuff my bros always tell me about?

Anonymous said...

The fastest dude I know (pro AA BMX champ) turned mtb shredder runs 45psi front and rear..true story

Anonymous said...

Consider this video before mentioning Monsieur Barel in a positive note again. Plus, his name is easy to pronounce.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlH1i1EsdFs