Monday, August 17, 2015

Revelations

I was rewatching the Speed Kings 2009 World Cup bonus section for the hundredth time today, and I realized that even in 2009 Gee Atherton still possessed traces of a personality. That personality is long gone by now, but it's interesting to look back to study the slow and steady dissolution of a human being before our eyes.

Hey, imagine working with the guy.

A veritable barrel of laughs.




So as Gee went from fun-loving grom to incomprehensible but enthusiastic competitor, from serious guy to Lord Bummer, and as he ultimately inherited his current form- Darth Bummer- TEAM ROBOT was there watching. So step back in time with us and reminisce as we recall the various eras of Atherton:




Lesser humans would expect THE ROBOTS to accept Gee as one of our own, but while his personality screams robot his lowly flesh and blood belie his true identity: a cyborg. In ROBOT circles cyborgs are nothing more than a dirty half breed, not worthy of the ROBOT title.



That Darth Vader guy may be more machine than man, but he's all pussy in the eyes of THE ROBOTS. Remember his conflict of conscience at the end of Jedi, when he backs out of killing his son and betrays the evil mastermind? Exactly. Typical human stuff, catching feelings and shit.



Original source material:

SPEED KINGS BONUS // WORLD CUP 2009 a Mountain Biking video by scottmarshall

At 12:15 you can see breathtaking though brief evidence of humanity.

17 comments:

Derp said...

someone should have told Ham Pill about those shitty TLD pants he was wearing. Jesus fucking pole dancing Christ what the fuck was he thinking?

Gee's not there to make friends or show personality. He's there to crush all the non believers. If he has to turn robotic to do so, then so be it. If you are calling him out you have to call out Ham, I mean Sam, for having the personality of a golf cart.

Sam Russell said...

how the hell have i not seen that video before today???? RAD!!

Wacek Kipszak said...

I will talk to him about you and all the haters on friday and we will laugh at you. Hahahahah... ha - ha... ha-ha-ha, haaaaa...haaaaaaaaa.





ha

Anonymous said...

http://www.bikerumor.com/2009/11/13/downhiller-gee-atherton-poses-nude-for-cosmo-magazine/

Anonymous said...

Charlie is just putting the heat on Gee now because his secret desire to get himself on film with Lopes has been fulfilled. Figured if all that Lopes bashing worked, why not lay it on his other hero and see if he can get some face time in.

Blinky looked fast on that Yeti.

Amanda Batty said...

Personality in the bike industry is overrated. Take a look at the fastest, hardest working folks (the ones making the most money/not selling body parts to race): almost every single time, they're the personality equivalent of a refrigerator.

But this is a chicken/egg question -- are they the fastest because they have to be due to lack of personality OR does their personality suck because they've spent too much time developing their marketable skills instead of writing semi-terrible stuff on the internet?

That's what I really want to know.

kidwoo said...

What I want to know is how Amanda Batty has never heard of Josh Bryceland.

Neil Clark Warren said...

Or Palmer, Peat, Cedric, Missy, etc. There are plenty of fast people with personalities.

Batty and Charlie should date. Both are mediocre downhillers, it'd be a match made in heaven.

Anonymous said...

Hell, he's not Ratboy on the personality scale but if you watch Wyn's world cup videos Gwin seems like a pretty funny and enjoyable dude. Maybe a little introverted but not exactly lacking in personality. Wyn's vids have humanized a lot of those guys like Gwin and Minnaar, and Hill for me. I think a lot of them have trouble turning off the robot on race day but I think for some you just have to chalk that up as focus. Gee kinda stands out as the one that just never turns it off but maybe that's just the way it plays out on camera.

Anonymous said...

^^^
Wyn is an idiot that needs to be banned from owning a video camera. Someone stop him now.

Anonymous said...

Bummer has an alternative meaning in the UK (mostly playgrounds)>
Lord Bummer makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

WynTV is one of the highlights of the WC season for me. I'd rank his shit right up there with VitalRAW as an addition to the overall experience for me, right behind the actual RedBull live coverage. Love the track walk, quali, and post race interviews he puts together. Get to know the racers much more from those than I do from the random promo vids that their sponsors put out.

Anonymous said...

Who's Amanda Batty and why does everything she write seem like she has no idea what she's talkling about, but make's it sound like everything she says is a fact?

PaulC said...

Funny thing is Gee's still the same laid back dude who likes to have fun and ride his bike that he's has been. Anyone that rides in Wales that's bumped into him will agree. The dude always has time for a chat, give a few tips, especially to the kids and doesn't take himself too seriously. I'm not sure why Gee gets heat for looking serious on TV at World Cup events. Nobody looks more serious and moody than Gwin imo and I've always thought Sam Hill is as dull as dish water. Both could be cool guys away from the TV & interviews though.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if gee owns his own house and health plan...wait forgot hes not snarky cool. Fuck him!

Anonymous said...

S T F U

Anonymous said...

While both Amanda and Charlie may have similar race resumes, Charlie can write, has wit, is full of common sense and one of the finest haters this side of Silky Johnson.

Amanda Batty? Well...at least her last name is honest?