Beacon race run 2-24 (Crash) on pinkbike.com
That... video... is... awesome. And NSFW.
The whole course was rad, the best course at beacon ever according to our complex Robot algorithms. The berms at the bottom were sick. Here's me on my Diamondback ripping one. When I showed this picture to my teammate Kyle all he had to say was "your inside knee should be pointed out." Thanks.
Speaking of Pro Racer Kyle Thomas, here he demonstrates his Vuvuzela/dartgun abilities. Kyle went full tilt on the vuvuzela all weekend until he developed "verpes" (Vuvuzela-Herpes, cold sores that come from direct or indirect contact with Vuvuzelas). Either that rider was in fact taken down by a PRKT dart, or that berm was just too awesome and the rider's CPU just broke midway through.
But don't take my word for it. Here's Project 952929292's Cole Wetherell absolutely annihilating the same turn. We all stood and stared in stunned silence at his bike for a good five minutes after he finished his race run because he ran a front spike... on a pedally hardpack course. According to Cole "it's what I'd been running, and I didn't want to switch." If anyone at 529 is reading this right now, you should probably fire Cole, or at least beat him savagely. Robots would never tolerate that sort of laziness.
In the same spirit as that Cole picture, here's another picture of Junior X rider Jonythyn Allyn demonstrating proper Junior X ETT form: looking really fast but being really slow. On the bright side, his time was fast enough for first in Pro women, though.
OK, that's a little harsh. He actually doesn't look THAT fast. And in reality, his time would have been good for fifth in Pro Men, so he wasn't slow either. I just wanted to make fun of junior X riders because it makes me feel bigger and more confident about myself.
Here's a random photo of Shimano's Tommy McGrath looking at Bobby Stenson like he's the stupidest person in the world. Based on Bobby's stellar outfit and submissive, defeated body language, we don't know where that idea came from.
Here's another picture of Cole. Based on the amount of photos of me that I found from this weekend, photographers apparently hate me the same way everyone else hates me. Unfortunately they apparently don't hate taking pictures of Cole, so that's what you get to look at. A message to photographerseverywhere: I'd way rather put up photos of myself instead of Eric Loney's younger, less annoying body double.
First race, first win, BOOM.
5 comments:
Kole with a "K". You've ridden/raced with this kid how long and you can't even spell is frickin' name right? Your journalistic skills are better than this. I expect perfection from robots. You should feel shame.
Kole's tire selection has been noted and he will be punished accordingly.
Kole's punishment will be to run a Maxxis hookworm in the wet. Actually, his punishment will be having to hang out with Loney, that's punishment enough.
Don't forget about nearly killing that stupid girl that almost ran into you on practice day on Sunday. WTF Robot! Terminate her! Stupid girls.
Cool purple jersey
Lolz
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