Sunday, August 12, 2012

The only kid who didn't get to go to Worlds


Did you know that Brendog_1 has, like, a million followers on Twitter but still didn't make it onto the British Worlds team? 

http://www.imbikemag.com/mountain-bike-news/2012/08/2012-world-champs-british-team-announced/


No, you read that right: the flag$hip rider on one of the biggest teams on the circuit didn't make the cut to g
o to the most important race of the season. All the hype in the world can't save you from a bad season. Apparently
 the world's team was not decided by fans texting in their top three faves.

How bad was his season, really? Well, to put it in perspective, Brendan's currently ranked 35th in the World Cup right now, which puts him just behind such World Cup veterans as 16 year old Richie Rude, 18 year old Loic Bruni, and 18 year old Connor Fearon, and also puts him behind several people you've never even heard of that make about 1/20th what Brendan makes, guys like Aurélien Giordanengo and Pierre Charles Georges. I'm pretty sure that Aerial Gorgonzola guy's best deal was when he landed free stickers, t-shirts, and 20% off of goggles from Scott on Sponsorhouse.



As it sits, the current Elite World's team for Britain is


Danny Hart
Gee Atherton
Josh Bryceland
Marc Beaumont
Matt Simmonds
Joe Smith
Sam Dale
Steve Peat


Which is weird, because if you've been following the news, America's World's team just got announced and we only had seven spots. So Britain had an extra spot and Brendoggystyle still didn't make the cut. It's okay though, cuz on the press release for British Cycling it said that Brendan had the "reserve" spot. You know, because with all the world cup rounds between the announcement this week and Worlds in two weeks, somebody might get hurt. Please, the only event between the announcement is Crankworx, and nobody gets hurt at Crankworx. I'm pretty sure it says in most pro contracts that if you get hurt dicking around at a festival event like Crankworx they take your bikes back and you hitchhike home.

So Brendan Fairclough isn't going, even though he makes way more money and gets way more hype than almost all the other guys on the British team, all the guys except Gee and Danny (BTW, yes, I do feel like I'm on a first name basis with all these guys. I've read about their lives on the internet).



So Brendan had a crappy season this year. But does anyone in the British Cycling federation remember when this happened 11 short months ago?



Yeah, not only does Brendanimal get paid more than almost every else that's going, and not only does he get more press for taking a big dump than Matt Simmonds gets in a whole season, Brendan was the second fastest Brit at, you know, the last World Championships.


Well, you don't have to wonder what goes on behind the scenes. Thanks to Team Robots investigative reporting, here's what the recent "Dear John" letter from British Cycling to Brendan Fairclough said:

"Oh yeah, thanks for getting fourth last year at Worlds for Mother England, you know with, like, half of one knee working. That was a big help for the team, big guy. Unfortunately we feel like the skills you demonstrated last year on that steep, rooty, muddy track in the Swiss Alps will not translate well to the steep, rooty, muddy track in the Austrian Alps. Sorry Brendan, the Austrian Alps are WAAAAAY different."



So, Scott11's probably pretty bummed. On the bright side though, Brendan will probably get more photos and interviews for doing another nacnac over Crabapple hits on Tuesday than he would have gotten from a win in Austria.


Oh, and he just won Speed and Style, but nobody really cares about that. Here's a great Speed and Style quote:

"Pro freerider Cam McCaul, who lent his expertise as an announcer at the Dual Speed & Style, feels that going fast and having the ability to pull multiple variations of tricks is going to be the type of riding that will prevail in future rounds of Speed & Style."

Thanks for that inside pro tip, Cam. My mind is literally blown right now.

3 comments:

Jim Graham said...

Great post.

P. Sneeky said...

Is this why everybody hates you, Chazz?

Anonymous said...

Danny Hart did get hurt at Crankworx...