Friday, October 5, 2012


America just finished losing to a bunch of European funny talkers in the Motocross des Nations, which was held last weekend in Sandville, the Netherlands. Or Belgium. I think it's the same place, but I'm not sure. The U.S. team was Dungey, Baggett, and Barcia, meaning that even though no one in the U.S. likes 2 of our three riders, they were still fast and we should have won. We've won for like, 10 years straight or something now, so obviously the boys let us down big time.

We came in third, and it was actually the German team that won the title, led by AMA Lites phenom Ken Roczen. Which is funny to me because the last time we faced off against the Germans in Belgium, the Germans didn't do as much winning. If you type in "Lommel Belgium WW2" into Google image search, the top 20 hits are all pictures of this German cemetery:

But that's not really the point. The point is that you need to check out the MXDN coverage on Brotocross, because it's way funnier than TEAM ROBOT. Really. Like, at ROBOT HQ we're just playing checkers and over there at Brotocross they're playing chess. Whether you know anything about MX or not (I clearly don't), you really owe it to yourself to read Brotocross; they see the world pretty clearly over there. The MXDN coverage on Brotocross is some of their best work yet. Your whole day sucked so far, so do yourself a favor and learn something:

Speaking of the Netherlands, or Holland, or Belgium... I think those are the same place? No one cares.

Nico Vink is also from Belgium, and he is currently crushing it at RAMPAGE!!! The first run scores are in for qualifying, Vink is ranked fifth and should make the cut for finals. As far as the normal RAMPAGE!!! crew is concerned, Nico Vink is just some random midpack world cup guy who lives in a flat country and rides moto sometimes. Guess again, freeriders.

When I do good in a race I like to look down the list and see all the people I beat, even if they had crappy runs or crahed or flatted, so without further adieu, here is the list of people that Nico Vink beat out after his first run in RAMPAGE!!! Just for fun, in the parentheses after the rider's name is our best guess based on no evidence whatsoever as to how much more all these people get paid to ride than Nico Vink:

Brett Rheeder $$

Casey Groves $$

Martin Soderstrom (dolla dolla bills y'all)

Greg Watts $$$

Mick Hannah (Mick Hannah gets paid in the blood of his enemies)

Garret Buehler (nobody cares about big mountain riding)

Sam Pilgrim $$$$$

Anthony Messere $$$$$

Mike Hopkins $$

Brendan Fairclough (more than the other top 35 riders on the WC combined)

Kenny Smith (Kenny Smith gets paid in shoes that boost his height)

Chris Van Dine (Chris Van Dine is a soul blader)

But Nico Vink isn't just some rando from Europe in the Eyes of TEAM ROBOT. He's been crushing it for a long time. Brotocross does a lot of top 5 lists, but they can construct a coherent thought and we can't. So here's a garbled mess of reasons why Nico Vink should be your favorite rider at RAMPAGE!!!


MX Trails Jam from GroundedBMX on Vimeo.

He's the one in the green Vans shirt that's better than everyone else.


This is his helmet for RAMPAGE!!! and because everyone else in the mountain bike world sucks that wasn't front page news on every site on the internet.


Sending it in his race run back in '07 at some random Euro race no one cares about

He's got a riding section in like, half the Earthed movies. There's five Earthed movies, but in ROBOT world you can divide 5 by two and get a whole number. But the point is, if you're not a top ten kind of guy and Rankin wants to film with you, you don't suck.


He hasn't gotten his F%*@ed up teeth fixed yet. History has shown that as young athletes progress, ugly physical deformities can drive them to overcompensate for their appearance and perform well above their God-given abilities. Then, when they reach the big time and start getting paid real money, they get their shit fixed, the ladies start noticing them, and then they switch to half-efforts and wash out in a couple years. 

Vink still looks like he took a healthy beating from the ugly stick, so he's got tons of potential left.


Did you notice ye olde Pinkbike water mark at the bottom of the picture? That means this picture is old. Also, right next to that watermark, did you notice Greg Minnaar staring up and wondering why Nico Vink has so much more fun riding his bike than he does?


It rains everyday in Europe. Sometimes a cloud moves in on top of a rain storm and starts raining on the rain. One time it didn't rain and everybody freaked out and that's how WW2 started. Nico is probably stoked out of his mind to be some place sunny where it doesn't suck and where beers don't cost $15, and don't even get me started about the freedom. There's a lot more of it here. Plus you've got to remember, this is his first time at RAMPAGE!!! so he probably thinks it's a mortal combat, fight for your freedom, single-elimination melee tournament like in Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damme, and he is literally riding for his life. JCVD is from Belgium, so he probably told Nico what the deal was before Nico's flight to the U.S.

1 comment:

Alex Dove said...

Vink is definitely keepin' it real in Utah! Loved the Bloodsport reference. Could have used more of those and less WW2 references...