Friday, January 25, 2013

The elusive members of the "do NOT kill list"

Regrettably we at Team Robot have a shameful little list we call the "do NOT kill list".
I know right? that has to be some kind of typo, but it is true, it does exist, a short selection of preselected survivors of the impending mechanized apocalypse that will completely devastate all you fleshy little meat balls and everything you love.
what mere human could possibly hold such a position in the eyes of your cold metal overlords?
well, we cant simply post the list in its  entirety for fear of exploding your simple human brains. however we will be exploring each member in slight detail over the course of however long we remember to post them.

First up.

The one, the only, the super old ............... Todd Motherfucking Olson.



















Boom.





















if you have ever been at a downhill race in the northwest in the last several decades then you may have noticed this Superior being gracing you with his presence.

  • he may have told you a racist joke.
  • he definitely checked out your girlfriend
  • he had a better bike than you
  • he did like five hundred practice runs at age 67 while your (your age here) year old ass pussed out early so you could "save" your energy to place mid pack in CAT who gives a shit!
  • he may have pulled a part off his bike so you could do your race run (Team Robot does not condone charity to humans but this may help your feeble brain remember this god among men)
  • he bought cocaine for Slayer when they were in town.
  • He dry humped one of his longtime friends directly in front of you. Probably the Jimador.
  • He didn't care about your bike setup or pro course breakdown or your offseason training. He definitely did not want to talk about chainguide setup.
  • He did more to financially support the race you were at than most of the companies on the sponsor list. And he raced.
and at what moment in time did we decide, this guy ...... yeah this guy?
well it was always right in our face but it was sort of an instance of the "straw that broke the camels back". well what was the straw you ask?
It was this moment.
Todd Charlie and I hiked up to a super old bad ass set of DH trails and while watching Charlie jump something on his trail bike Todd excitedly shouted out to congratulate Charlie. when i asked Todd what he had just said he replied " yeah Charlie" he had no idea that he had said what he said.
video

Don't worry about the video quality, just listen carefully and study, humans. Video quality sucks because this was filmed on a human-designed iphone. Robots just beam information directly from asshole to asshole. RBZZZZZZZ

2 comments:

S.P. said...

Dear Team-Robot,

I am glad I'm not on the Kill List either...............

Signed,
Sneeky Pete

Scott Tucker said...

I'd like to see the actual do not kill list in it's entirety. We need to compare it to the NW Cup BANNED list to see if there is any overlap.