At least a passing resemblance

Tell me with a straight face that this:







Doesn't look at least a little bit like this:





"Charlie, just because it's not racing, don't make fun. What Brett Rheeder and Semenuk did in their final runs was almost impossible. You can't even imagine how hard it is. It's really impressive."

Yeah, for sure, no argument there. But you're a liar if you tell me that the stuff those aerobic athletes pull in that video is any less mind-blowing. I dare you to try the dual arm spins at 0:40 in the video and NOT tear your rotator cuff in half. Try those fast steps at 1:02. That's easily as hard as a flat spin 720 off the final whale tail at Crankworx. At least Semenuk had a whole run to warm up to that, he even busted one out halfway down his run. Homie with the fast steps went from zero to a thousand in a split second. Do you know how much stretching and warm up it takes to pull that stuff off?  It takes a lifetime to prepare for something like that. I bet you it was straight carnage at the 1987 Crystal Light Aerobic Championship, with hamstrings and ACL's blowing out like candles. Dudes getting carted off on backboards or carried off the field of battle by their fellow aerobic athletes.

The lyrics tell you everything you need to know. Like the sunshine, they are the champions.

Champ-i-ons.

Champ-i-ons.