Thursday, November 6, 2014

Things to never say

In a discussion about the relative benefits of clips vs. flats, Five Tens vs. some other sticky shoe, or running a chainguide vs. not, please don't ever say:

"I never slip a foot with flat pedals, so I don't need clips."

"I never slip a foot with xyz brand flat pedal shoe, so I don't need Five Tens."

"I never drop a chain with my narrow wide (or X-Sync) chainring, so I don't need a chainguide."

By sharing that with us you haven't proven anything about the relative benefit of your favored product, you've only proven to me that you are slow and you suck.

People who ride hard drop chains when they run a narrow wide ring. They drop chains when they run a chainguide. They even drop chains when they run a chainguide and a narrow wide ring. They drop chains or have chain suck because they ride hard. Some solutions will result in fewer dropped chains, but if you're riding hard it's going to happen. The question we want to resolve is which configuration will strike the best compromise between competing goals, ie light weight, low pedaling resistance, and chain retention.

It's like all the adults were having a nice conversation, weighing their preferred method of chain retention over dinner together, perhaps enjoying wines and cheeses, comparing notes and sharing charming anecdotes, and then you scooched the kids table up to our pleasant meal and started yelling across the table, spraying half eaten Goldfish crackers, "BUT I NEVER DROP CHAINS WITH MY NARROW WIDE RING!!"

You haven't changed the conversation we were enjoying without you. You've only delayed it and inconvenienced us.

Sam Hill runs the OG Five Ten, the army boot with stealth rubber, and he runs razor blade 1-inch pins sticking out of his pedals. He still slips feet from time to time.

If you never slip your pedal when you run Vans slip-ons, it's because you're going slow.

If you never drop a chain, it's because you suck.


Ben Furbee said...

What if you like dropping chains because it makes you feel fast? That's what I do. Shaddow + off normal OG ring woth a shitty chainline.

Hal9000 said...

My clips never release accidentally and i never crash while still clipped into them. I have ridden many hardcore mountain biking races this way.

Derp said...

1. you won't drop chains unless you are racing.

2. you won't slip your foot unless you are racing.

3. you can't really comment on how tires work (unless they really suck like Kendas) unless you are racing.

Anonymous said...

douche /ˈduːʃ/ is a device used to introduce a stream of water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons, or the stream of water itself.

Douche usually refers to vaginal irrigation, the rinsing of the vagina, but it can also refer to the rinsing of any body cavity. A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching—a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina, the same bag must not be used for an enema and a vaginal douche.

Douching after sexual intercourse is not an effective form of birth control.[1] Additionally it is associated with a number of health problems (cervical cancer, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometritis, and increased risk of sexually transmitted infections) and thus is not recommended.[2]


First Known Use: 1766 The word douche came to English via French, from Italian: doccia "conduit pipe" and docciare "pour by drops" to douche, from doccia water pipe, probably back-formation from doccione conduit, from Latin: duction-, ductio means of conveying water, from ducere to lead—here today it means shower,[3] as it does in most other European languages.


Vaginal douche apparatus with five quart tank from 1905 nursing text
Vaginal douches may consist of water, water mixed with vinegar, or even antiseptic chemicals. Douching has been touted as having a number of supposed but unproven benefits. In addition to promising to clean the vagina of unwanted odors, it can also be used by women who wish to avoid smearing a sexual partner's penis with menstrual blood while having intercourse during menstruation. In the past, douching was also used after intercourse as a method of birth control, though it is not effective (see below).

Many health care professionals state that douching is dangerous, as it interferes with both the vagina's normal self-cleaning and with the natural bacterial culture of the vagina, and it might spread or introduce infections. Douching is implicated in a wide variety of dangers, including: adverse pregnancy outcomes including ectopic pregnancy, low birth weight, preterm labor, preterm birth, and chorioamnionitis; serious gynecologic outcomes, including increased risk of cervical cancer, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometritis, and increased risk for sexually transmitted infections, including HIV; it also predisposes women to develop bacterial vaginosis (BV),[4] which is further associated with adverse pregnancy outcomes and increased risk of sexually transmitted infections.[5] Due to this, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services strongly discourages douching, citing the risks of irritation, bacterial vaginosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Frequent douching with water may result in an imbalance of the pH of the vagina, and thus may put women at risk for possible vaginal infections, especially yeast infections.[6]

In May 2003, a randomized, controlled, multi-center study was conducted with 1827 women ages 18–44 who were regular users of a douche product and who had been treated recently for a sexually transmitted bacterial infection or bacterial vaginosis. Women were randomly assigned to use either a newly designed and marketed douche product or a soft cloth towelette. There was little or no indication of a greater risk of PID among women assigned to use the douche product (versus soft cloth towelette). Douching may be related to a lower probability that a woman becomes pregnant.[7]

Evan Turpen said...

The Robot forgot to mention Sam Hill's double bash-ring setup (taco+full-bash) in the picture he posted. Rat Boy runs this same setup...pretty sure this is the secret to being bad-ass and winning World Cups with ease...

TEAM.ROBOT said...

Freaking good eye Evan, don't know how I missed that. My fanboy complex is freaking out, going to install double bash setup on my DH bike tonight.

thedeathstar said...

This is coming from the guy who posted his mountain biking memoir as a way to show why front derailleurs are not cool

Anonymous said...

I don't even need a rear brake - and I go HAM on my technical Fort Worth, TX trails.