- Dude stakes whole coaching career on the value of flat pedals
- Dude/coach/life guru needs constant web content
- Dude discovers some arcane CPSC/SNELL/CEN compliance sticker that recommends clips or toe straps.
- Dude loses mind and launches enormous investigative report into this non-issue, blaming and finger pointing at half the bike industry and media.
Here are some of those instant-classic highlights:
"So what would you say if I told you that a major bike manufacturer was shipping all of their mountain bikes with a sticker that told riders not to use flat pedals?"
"What if the company had been caught in several lies and that they were actually misquoting and misrepresenting laws in defense of the sticker?"
"Despite sending several follow up emails I have never heard anything back from him."
But if I've caught them in some sort of lie and there is another reason for the stickers to be there, then what is that reason?"
"There were no checks-and-balances for this sticker being placed on their mountain bikes and there was no inter-department communication."
I like the part where he evokes the constitution itself, citing the total disregard for the institutional checks and balances that our freedoms are built upon, putting at risk not merely our bike riding, our recreation, or even our ability to travel freely, but our very way of life. I think that's what he would have said, anyway, if he'd kept going.
But all of this leaves me with one question, James. Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist?"
No matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist