Standover clearance

There's a nightmare bike thread going on Vital right now, and one of the bikes featured is the old Trek Y-bike that Sharples and Ronning were on circa '98ish. The featured bike is not a Trek, but a Gary Fisher by name, but same difference right?

http://www.vitalmtb.com/features/Scariest-Bikes-of-All-Time,804

The weird thing is, in the article, the supposedly scary nightmare part of the bike is the top tube. Spomer just keeps going on and on, "there's no getting around that potential for pain with that top tube!"

I know I'm tall, and a pro rider, and thus my preferences and habits don't represent those of the mean gravity rider, but does anyone out there regularly place their balls between and below their stem and seat when they ride? Think of the body position you'd have to be in to even get your balls there, I would have to consciously work to get in that position while riding, and I would need to be cruising around in a parking lot to make that move happen.

I've prepared this helpful graphic to illustrate where my ass and(or) balls normally go on my downhill bike, and most of my bikes:

Am I way off base here, and there's a mass of people who regularly crouch in the forward position with their center of gravity 3-6 inches away from their hands when they ride? Spomer, do you normally ride like that?

Sharples works for Felt, so I can actually touch base with him and see if he regularly rested the old marble bag on the top tube of his Trek. Me personally, I'm willing to bet the insane head angle, comically short top tube, mediocre suspension performance, and most of all the IRC Liferisk® tires he got paid to ride were a much greater "nightmare" for him than the inert piece of metal that he never interacts with, resting in a place far away from his person.